Snippets of Madam Sirr (S1)

Untitled Part 38

"What? How is this my fault as well?" she retorted, her words snapping.

"You've always confronted Madam Sir and this time you went too far..."

"It was Madam Sir's fault, Puspha Ji...she raised the gun at me..." she spoke, interrupting her.

"Haan, but that was only to stop you from firing at an innocent civilian...." She paused, her reddened eyes glaring at KS. "And she raised an empty gun Karishma madam..."

"Empty or not Puspha Ji...she did so because she wanted her to stop. So that she could get the credit..."

Puspha Ji laughed, her sound bellowing loudly. "Are you out of your mind?" she snapped as KS stood to her feet, towering over Puspha Ji.

"Puspha Ji...." She said through gritted teeth. "Don't forget that I'm your senior..."

KS's anger flashed red in her eyes. Puspha Ji gulped in fear, retracting her steps. She composed herself before continuing, her voice balanced with desperation.

"Karishma madam, take a moment to think. Has Haseena madam ever taken the credit alone? She always credited the entire team..." she paused letting the words sink in. "Do you really think Madam Sir would be petty to intervene on your promotion just because she was feeling insecure? Karishma madam, ever since Madam Sir took the post of SHO, she has done nothing but tolerate and forgive all of your insubordinations. Why would she do that if she felt insecure of your post?"

Puspha Ji's words wound around her heart, constricting the blood flow. She stopped, dead in her tracks, glaring at Puspha Ji. She wanted to speak, to express her emotions yet her words swallowed up inside.

"Think of the difference between Mishri madam and our Madam Sir.....I think you'll be able to recognize whether or not Madam Sir was to be blamed..."

As Puspha Ji left, KS stumbled on to the bench, her mind churning with the words. Was she wrong in judging Haseena? She wondered. She gripped the ends tightly, the wood searing into her palm as she recalled the events. It was Madam Sir who had raised the gun on her. It was Madam Sir who had left her in the dark. She remembered Haseena's words. That she only had a suspicion.

She stood, massaging her temples as she walked around, the sunlight burning her eyes. KS had acted in anger. Her brain as always has fired back on her giving her a partial view. Tears rose to her eyes as she recalled how Haseena had always taken the blame on herself for KS's actions. She had never punished her when she acted in retaliation with the direct orders of Madam Sir. She punched the table violently, spilling a hot cup of chai in her hand. The pain didn't bother her. What bothered her was her actions.

She left, riding the bike as she sped through the streets. One singular thought flashed in her mind. She had to find Madam Sir.

KS rushed through the doors, pushing everyone violently, her eyes scanning for Haseena. Finally, she stepped into her cabin, taking in the sight of Haseena.

She stopped near the doorway, her heart and mind frozen. KS had seen Haseena in almost a month. An unbidden smile crept on her face as she saw Haseena's dimpled smile. KS would never admit it publicly but she had missed Haseena. She had missed their confrontations. Their daily arguments. She sighed, bowing down her head. She had tracked Haseena but what could she even say to her? She lifted her hands to the door, supporting herself on the frame as her mind reeled back.

MPT under the leadership of SHO Mishri had been devastating. Mishri had been a strict senior, punishing and reprimanding her juniors at every step. KS gritted her teeth as she recalled how she had been assigned for traffic duty as she defied Mishri's direct orders. Even SS was not spared. She sighed again, lifting her head to glance at Haseena as she mustered strength and walked in.

"Jai Hind Madam Sir..."

Haseena was thrown aback, the voice catching her in surprise. The pen flew out of her hands as she looked, blinking her eyes at the figure of KS.

"KS....." she mumbled, her voice lost.

Haseena wondered whether it was a dream. In the past month, her anguished heart had manifested visions of her MPT members at every step. Yet, as Haseena glanced at KS, her eyes bearing down her, she knew it wasn't a dream. She slightly pinched herself, hiding her bemused grin. It was then that Haseena clearly saw. The red eyes. The creased forehead. The clenched fists. The bruised knuckles.

"Madam Sir, can we talk?" she asked at last breaking the silence.

Haseena wanted to say yes. She wanted to reconcile with her friend, to talk with her deep into the sunset. Yet, she stopped herself, the past rising in her eyes. KS's words floated around, the hurt resurfacing.

"What else is there to talk about KS?" she asked, her voice cold and aloof.

KS stumbled caught in a momentary surprise. She was not used to Haseena's hostility. She clenched her fists taking a deep breath. She knew this wasn't going to be easy.

"Madam Sir, I know that you are angry and you have every right to be. But please- give me one last chance..." she said, her voice almost pleading.

KS's voice spoke to Haseena, breaking through her SHO façade. Before she had time to think, Haseena stood, smiling widely at KS as she led her outside to a park. They settled down, the wind flapping in their faces, engrossed in a deep and uncomfortable silence.

"Madam Sir....what I said....I spoke in my anger...I didn't realize my words until...." She broke down, clutching the end of the bench. "You left Madam Sir...."

"I know I've always spoken to you in anger. I said things that I shouldn't have. I never realized the impact of my words..."

She glanced at Haseena, tiny blobs of tears glistening in her eyes. "After you left Madam Sir, I was left with my actions. I was left in the wake of my anger. I never understood it before because you were always there with me...but Madam Sir, I realize it now. I'm sorry Madam Sir, I spoke out of haste...."

Haseena sighed, crossing her arms flat against her chest. She glanced at KS, her features speaking volumes of the guilt she carried. She had never seen KS expressing her emotions. Haseena knew that KS had truly repented her actions.

"KS, when in anger people are blind towards their actions- that is what you did. KS, I didn't leave because your words hurt. I left because I felt that our ideologies wouldn't work together- bhaukhal and jazzbat doesn't go hand in hand KS...."

"Madam Sir, I understand what you mean but....I've never met a senior like you. You've always emulated patience. You've always understood me. That is why, madam sir- that despite our differences we'll be able to work together. Our final goal is the same madam sir- justice..."

Haseena smiled, KS's understanding warming her heart. She understood that KS had grown, matured in her absence.

"KS, even if I understand what you say, I cannot come back. There's already a new senior posted at MPT..."

KS smiled, a rare smile adorning her face. "Madam Sir, don't worry about that. I've already spoken with DSP sir. He agreed..."

"Please come back Madam Sir..."

Haseena nodded, her dimpled smile returning as the pair stood, reaching out for a firm handshake.

"Welcome back Madam Sir...."

"KS, how was the new senior?" Haseena asked as they walked back.

"Oh! Let's not talk about her Madam Sir. She was strict....she punished everyone even for small mistakes...." She trailed off as Haseena squeezed her hand, nodding at her reassuringly.

As the pair walked away, the horizon glinted with the vibrant hues of orange, the sun setting in the distance. They felt a relief coursing through them as they walked, anchored together even in the toughest storms.

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