Snippets of Madam Sirr (S1)

Chapter 9

***This Chapter is directly after the mission Jeet when Anubhav summons Haseena to HQ. ***

A week had passed since they all arrived after the mission. Haseena was slowly recovering after injecting herself with a poisonous serum to save her country. She was seated on a hospital bed, checking in for her weekly checkups though her mind was far from the present.

The Dr looked at her with increasing anxiety. He shifted his gaze constantly from the file to Haseena wondering how he should broach the subject of her health. He looked at her. She had dark ringlets round her eyes and her face was squished. She looked tired as if she hadn't had a proper night's sleep. He kept the file aside.

"Haseena Ji" he started. She looked up at him, her gaze on him yet distant. "I thought I told you to rest."

"Haan Dr. I did rest."

"Really? Then why do you look worse than before?"

Haseena sighed looking down at the floor. She was fidgeting with her fingers mumbling to herself.

How do I tell him of my aching heart, of the waking nightmares that I have? How do I tell him that I'm still pining for a love that's long since lost?

The Dr. dragged a chair and sat down in front of her.

"Look, Haseena Ji" he sighed. "It's really important for you to take care of yourself especially since you are still recovering."

"Haan Dr. I will" she said, her tone wavering.

He reluctantly let her go with a warning that the next time she'd be here, her health would be in serious danger.

Haseena didn't hear him as she walked outside. She didn't really care about herself. She was distraught. She was angry at herself for falling in love so easily. She blamed herself for still caring about the man who used her for a mission.

She sat inside the jeep when her phone vibrated with a message. Anubhav. She read it, her heart jumping inside her mouth. He had summoned her to the HQ.

Why does he want to see me now, she wondered. How could she face him after everything? How could she be expected to talk to him nicely? He was her senior. She had no choice but to obey. She resigned herself, bracing for the meeting.

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She got down from the jeep, her boots making no sound against the concrete pavement. As she made her way towards his cabin, her mind floated to the past.

She recalled how happy she was the last time she was here. She remembered the butterflies in her stomach every time she visited Anubhav. She was engaged to be married and now she was no one. She had no future and no prospects. Her boots thumped loudly carrying on the resolute silence in her heart. She was grasping at straws ordering herself to be calm but she was in no condition to be so. Her eyes flashed before her brief moments of their time. How they first met and how she proposed. She could still feel the electricity that pumped through her when she hugged Anubhav. All that was taken away in a single swoop. Her mind churned the words as Anubhav confessed that he didn't love her and that she was just a ploy for a mission. A mere drama. She pinched herself that she almost drew blood breathing herself back to the present. She had to be calm. She was not meeting AS. She was meeting her senior, DSP AS.

She went in, saluted him and stood to attention, her actions almost mechanical. Anubhav looked up at her, his eyes squinting at her. The silence stretched broken by none as they held their gaze. Haseena looked at his eyes and saw the briefest hint of melancholy flash in Anubhav. She cursed herself as to how she could see love in such guarded eyes.