If I Fall (GirlXGirl)

Chp. 39

I stayed silent, afraid that if I spoke more on this subject I would burst into tears. I didn't want to cry, I was too tired. Drew didn't deserve tears from me, and she didn't want them. She didn't care. I had to keep reminding myself of that.

Maria chimed, "Do you want me to come over? We can go eat?"

I didn't want to leave my house for the rest of the day, not until tomorrow when I had work at the studio. It was my last week too, after I would prepare for graduation and moving day.

I sighed, declining, "No, I'm just gonna start packing and stuff. Don't worry I'll be fine."

"Bree..."

"Maria," I cut her off, realizing the last thing I wanted to do was being her down with me. She didn't deserve that. "It's fine. I promise."

She paused again, knowing that arguing with me was useless. I was stubborn, and I just wanted to be alone and get over myself, by myself.

"Okay, well I'll see you tomorrow."

"Bye," I hung up, feeling the sting in my chest emerge from the shadows. None of this was fair. None of this was supposed to happen. This week should've been me and Drew, getting our things together and preparing to move back to Philly.

Evan wasn't supposed to pop back up, and he wasn't supposed to continue manipulating her. She shouldn't have felt the need to leave me whenever I believed she needed someone like me by her side. She was stronger than that. None of this added up.

What had gone wrong between us? Had she done this to protect me from Evan considering he had showed up again? Had he threatened her? Or had he threatened to hurt me?

I wanted to call her and ask. I wanted to hear her say the truth because I couldn't believe she had given up on us that easily. Not after all the shit we had gone through. Not after what we had felt...

I sat on my bed, memories of us swirling around and drowning me. The pain was incomprehensible, and even after a week it was still brand new, like I couldn't get used to it. Even Ashley hadn't been this terrible and we had been together for years.

But thinking about this would only ruin my mood, and I had to get a lot of things done before this weekend.

If Drew didn't want to fight for me there was nothing more I could do, because I had no fight left in me either.

~ ~ ~ ~

The following week involved me packing and trying to keep myself busy with my last week of work. Even though Drew had refused to contact me I knew she was curious about how I was doing. Maria would tell me everything Demarcus would ask, and it hurt even worse knowing Drew didn't want to ask me herself. All she had to do was call and I would answer on the first ring.

What would she do when I moved?

The familiar clenching in my chest pulled me out of my thoughts, me realizing now was not the time to be worried. It was my last class, and this Friday night session was dragging on, making me believe it would never end.

Maria joined next to me, "So graduation's next weekend. You excited?"

I shrugged it off, "I'm more excited to get out of this city."

The weeks between me and Drew's break-up had taken a lot of my positivity, including over graduation. I was excited, but getting my diploma just meant getting my final ticket out of here. There was nothing left for me in New York anymore.

Maria rubbed my shoulder, "Bree... Why don't you call her...?"

I rolled my eyes, realizing I didn't want to call Drew. For once, just once I wanted someone to fight for me because I had fought endlessly for Ashley. Staying up almost every night up every trying to make her understand I still loved her and that she could trust me while I was away. I had tried everything in my power to keep her and had failed when she left.