Invisible String

Reintroduction to society

Again I get up before both of the boys but this time they weren't sprawled out like they had passed out which was a relief. I decide to go for a run again and grab something small for all of us from the shop so we would have something before we set off for Bobby's. I wasn't all that hungry and I figured we could always stop later on if we were hungry and needed more food. The run takes longer than expected because I was more tired than I thought from yesterday. I was out now and committed to the idea of food though so I kept going.

When I arrive home, I see movement behind the curtains so decide to knock before entering, just in case they were getting changed or something. They shout for me to enter and to my surprise, they were ready and finishing up packing, now I felt like I was the one holding them up. 

Dean smirks mischievously when he sees me open the door and he must have noticed my exhausted expression, "nice run?"

Sam turns around too, finally noticing me, he had a slightly concerned look on his face but says nothing, just waits for me to respond. 

"Umm.. yeah, it was fine.. I got some breakfast for us before we set off.." 

They both looked surprised by the gesture and intrigued. 

"Thanks." Sam says as I set it down on the table and start pulling them out. 

"No problem, I figured we should have some kind of meal before we start driving, I mean it does take a day and a bit after all..." I pause for a second awkwardly. "You guys should have a break from packing to eat, I need to shower and stuff anyway." 

They nod and sit down as I rush into the bathroom and start getting ready. Now that I was having these thoughts about them, I wanted to avoid them as much as possible and just get home, back to my normal life. Feelings and stuff were all so embarrassing, I would rather just avoid it.

I guess they must have felt the same about avoiding talking to because we got ready with minimal communication. We packed both cars and Dean agreed to follow me back to Bobby's place because he hadn't been there since he had been the one driving and not John. If we needed to pull over, he would flash the headlights and we'd find somewhere to go. 

I wanted to ask about John again but I decided against it, it would probably be a good idea to talk to Bobby before I talk to them because he had a better idea of what was going on between them all. 

I had a feeling we probably wouldn't be stopping very much, they seemed like they just wanted to get there which was fine by me because I wasn't very interested in stopping loads of times.

When it reached about lunch time, Dean flashed the headlights at me and we pulled into another diner style restaurant which I assumed was kind of their vibe. I didn't eat out very often so it was a little uncomfortable but I liked the food at them and for the last one was pretty quiet so I hoped this would be the case with all diners. However, this hope was soon lost when I pulled into the car park and saw how full it was. 

I found a parking spot towards the back with one fairly nearby so I pulled in and waited for Dean to park the impala. I probably could have gone in and got us a table but in all honesty I was just too scared to go over on my own. People weren't one of my strong points.

"Hey, are you ok?" Sam walked over and gave me a slightly concerned expression. 

I nod, "Yeah, I'm fine." 

Dean also approaches me and has the same concerned expression. "Are you sure? You look kind of pale."

"Mhm.. I'm fine, just looks a bit busier than what I was used to." 

They seem to accept what I say but they give each other that same concerned look that people get when they hear how much time I spent alone. I understood why people got concerned but I didn't want people to feel sorry for me. To me it was a choice and I found nothing wrong with the way I was living. I wasn't lonely and I wasn't miserable.

We ended up getting seated towards the back of the restaurant which Sam and Dean didn't seem too happy about but I definitely was. However, I knew it being busy meant that it would take longer to get served and we would probably have to find something to talk about. 

Dean orders a burger, Sam orders a salad and I order a hot dog, it had been a long time since I had been anywhere without Bobby. I had to admit it was a weird feeling. We normally didn't talk much but it was different with him, it was more comfortable. He knew everything about me and for the first time ever, I felt like I didn't actually know much about him at all. My mind wanders back to the phone call and the possibility that he may be seeing someone and not telling me and realising Sam and Dean knew more about his wife than I did. He wasn't my dad but he did raise me, I suppose I expected him to be a little more open with me.

I hesitate for a moment. Maybe this was the wrong thing to do but I was curious. 

"Do you guys know if Bobby is seeing anyone?"

They exchange a look which tells me they were trying to consider whether they should tell me or not, that's all I needed to know. It wasn't fair that they knew and I didn't despite me doing so many jobs and I thought of him as a dad. Not only has he not told me he was seeing anyone but he also hadn't told me that he had seen the boy lately. I never asked him but we were friends as kids  so I had always assumed he would tell me if he saw them around. 

I sigh and start picking at the chips I order. "Sorry, I'm not trying to get you in the middle of this, I just felt like maybe there was something I didn't know."

Dean looked like he felt sorry for me, maybe like he understood and Sam just looked confused, I knew he had never thought much of his dad so I suppose that explained it but still, I thought maybe on some level he would get it. I guess he was used to being the one that hides things from people, not that I ever thought he was wrong for what he did with running away and going to university but he also never considered what it did to others. 

I remembered the first time that Sam ran away, John dropped Dean off at Bobby's because he was so upset at him for letting it happen under his watch. Dean thought John would never forgive him. He didn't know that I knew all this but I heard the conversation he had with Bobby through the door. I was kind of a nosey kid and always wanted to know what was going on with people, maybe that's why I got so into psychology. 

"I'll probably just call him after we've eaten if that's ok. I'm sure he meant no harm. 

"Sure." It became even more evident to me that Sam didn't understand it all when he responded so upbeat. He probably was right though, he was the most sane hunter I knew and I think anyone else knew for that fact. 

"So.. you're dad's not here.." It felt weird to be asking this since I didn't really like him but I wasn't a monster, I was worried. "Is he ok..?"

Dean pauses for a moment, giving Sam that look again. " Yeah, he's just kind of doing his own thing right now. We're doing some smaller cases while he works on a big one." 

"Oh right, I was worried because I don't think I've ever seen you guys without him."

The rest of the meal we make awkward conversation but nothing that really meant anything. 

"I'm gonna go call Bobby now.. I'll meet you in the car." I get up before they can reply and head out to the back of the diner. I light a cigarette and start ringing him. Normally he picks up on the first one but I get nothing. I wait and in the end he doesn't even pick up, it just goes through to voicemail. I sigh and hang up before trying again. The same happens again and I decide to just give up without leaving a voicemail, I would see him when we got back soon anyway.

I finish my cigarette and then meet the boys back at the cars. 

"That didn't take long. Are you ok?" Sam asks.

"Yeah, he didn't pick up but I can just talk to him when we get back."

He nods and it seemed like he could tell I was a bit upset about it. "You ready to go then?" Dean quickly intervened, I couldn't tell if he was in a rush to go or he just wanted to stop the awkward silence but either way I was thankful.

When we set off, I lead us back again as they said they hadn't been to Bobby's in a while and the roads were reasonably quiet so we didn't lose each other at any point. The weather was nice so I drove with my windows down the whole way and at some points I could hear Dean's music playing so they must have had their windows down too. 

Just as the sun starts to set, we pull into Bobby's drive and park out back.