Not my type

//Sneak peek\\ Heart soup

Love doesn't hurt me anymore like it used to. I don't wake up with that empty hollow feeling because the person that I loved the most, could care less about me. Love is a lost cause. Its like one of those one in a million kind of things. It's not impossible; and it does exist. But you must have some serious good luck if you actually find it.

When I was younger I was naive enough to think that everyone gets a happy ending. Too many Disney movies I guess. Damn Walt for letting me believe that I would get a prince. Fuck Mikey for letting me think that Walt was serious.

I remember the first time that I saw Mikey. How could I ever forget? Dark brown hair that sometimes pretended to be black, the bluest of oceanic eyes, and a smile that could make you fall to your knees. He'd never know this, but I secretly imagined my life with him long before I knew him personally. It was fascinating to me that he lived life without a single care. I only dreamed to be that free.

He had me wrapped around his finger. And the worst part about that is that he knew. He knew from the very beginning that he would own every single piece of my heart.

I'm so tired. I'm so fucking tired of pretending that it doesn't hurt. That, I don't notice that his new conquest is prettier than me. That I'm put together, when in all actuality, I'm in pieces.

He put me in pieces and didn't even glance at the mess he made. So why do I miss him terribly? I'm so disappointed in myself for even thinking about him. For blowing dust off of my diary and spilling my heart on these stupid pages. There is no way to justify what I'm doing.

I don't even know what I'm doing anymore. I would be fine one day and then all of a sudden I'll see his face and then I suddenly turn into Bella swan. You know what I'm talking about? The second movie where Edward leaves her and she sits in front of a window for months.

I'm Bella and you're Edward.

I see no difference.

You might tell me you're not a vampire and you're not that pale. You actually might win on the pale debate because your skin is always tan, but you are a vampire.

You sucked the life out of me.

You drained the shit out of me.

And I don't know how to pull myself together.

Coming soon 🙃