Not now

Theres no sense in playing games, when you've done all you can do.

A second after I heard what I did, I didn't want to hear any more.
I turned around, and started running away from him. The tears that were pouring out my face felt like razor blades.

I kept running, holding my mouth so I didn't cry out loud, when Gerard yelled in the distance.

"Frank! Wait! No!"

I ignored him, because I need to get the hell away from him.

I rushed home, running past my mom, and going into my room, slamming the door behind me.
My mom didn't ask me questions. She knew I had to be alone.

I got under my covers. It was dark.

He made love to Lindsey.

My thoughts were eating me alive.

Back when we first met, I thought you were making fun of me.
I was right. Im just a joke to you.

Gerard, I swear to god.. If i see your face one more time.. That will be it.

Why did you do this to me...?

I held my knees up to my chest, feeling more alone then ever. I started to wipe away my tears, letting new ones pour down my face.

You make it hard to smile, because you make it hard to breathe.

Why did you do this to me?

I hate him.

My heart feels weird. Somethings torn.

I gave you everything. You tore us apart. I hate you. I never want to see you ever again.

As mad as I was, I was hurting like never before. My heart physically hurts, and I was shaking.

Gerard why? Why?
I thought you loved me.

While I was here worrying about you, and crying over you, and losing sleep over you... you were naked with someone else?

Do you remember how insane we were for each other?

Im giving up on you.

I have never cried so much, so loud.

Do you remember waking up at 3 am and making love to each other? You told me how much you loved me.
How dare you lie to me.

Were you thinking about me when you were between her legs?

While you were kissing her? Holding her?

Were you calling her baby?

That slut.

She fucking knew me and Gerard were together.
I never liked her.
She can go to hell. Along with that other one.

I can't believe you let me down.

Nothing you can say will make this okay.

You are a heart attack.

I started to think back to when me and Gerard first met. I was slowly dying.

September 4
A year ago

"Hey, you're Frank right?"

"You are not worthless, Frankie."

"I will take care of you, forever, I promise."

His voice echoed in my head.

Gerard, you didn't save me. You left me here to suffer.

Do I love you? Of course I do. But you hurt me when you promised to be my superhero.

Do you love me? Obviously not. How could you do that to someone you love?

Why was my superhero saving someone else when I was in need?

I haven't heard from you in months, now sadly I know why.

It will all be over
It will all be over
It will all be over
It will all be over
It will all be over
It will all be over.
Its almost over.

I repeat to myself.

I feel numb.

I lay on my bed, staring at the ceiling with no expression on my face. My arms are spread out.

I feel nothing.
Im completely numb.

Lucky I was numb, because if I wasn't, I would be dead by now.

I don't need to cut. Or drink. Or cry.
My tears dried.

I feel like I just died.

~~~~~~~~~~~~~

I spent the whole day in bed sleeping.

My thoughts always tire me out.

It was summer, so I don't have school.

Thank god. I don't have to see him everyday. And that slut.

I was home alone when I heard a knock on the door.

It was Gerard.

I was close to slamming the door, before he stopped me.

"Frank, I need to talk to you."
He looked guilty.

"No. I don't want to talk to you. Please leave me alone, Gerard... I think you have done enough damage."

I was about to close the door before he started talking.

"Can you just let me explain?"

I sighed.

"Fine. Lets go outside."
We both walked near the park.

"Talk."
I sounded calm.

"She came to my house, like she always does, and she said she was upset. So I let her in, so I could make her feel bette-"

"By fucking her. Go on."
I said in a cold tone.

He rolled his eyes.

"Listen. She came on to me. She started kissing me, and then started to take my clothes o- "

"Do you love her?"
I interrupted.

"Yeah. I do. Very much. Shes now my girlfriend, again."

I didn't freak out. I... I felt okay.

"So, i guess thats that. Nothing left to say, I guess."

I let go.

Of him

"Yeah. I guess so."
He said looking at his hands.

We both stared at the ground for a good three minutes, until he spoke.

"Its getting late. I should probably head home.."
His voice was small.

"Yeah. Me too."

"Alright.. I'll see you around."

He started to walk the opposite direction.

Yeah.

See you.