Practice Makes (Graduates of Love #1)

The Beginning

Lila Lawson sat alone in the quiet corner of the school library, the soft hum of the fluorescent lights overhead doing little to distract her from the noise inside her head. Her textbooks lay forgotten in front of her, their words a blur as she stared at the pages, deep in thought. Her mind kept returning to the same conversation she'd had the day before with an assignment partner she had met during her first semester of high school.

Her partner, a bubbly and outgoing person who seemed to have it all together, had been the first person Lila had confided in about her dating struggles. "You're seriously telling me you've never had a crush? Not even once?" she had asked with wide eyes, incredulous as she leaned back in her chair, her expression one of complete disbelief.

Lila had nodded sheepishly. "Yeah... I mean, I guess I don't get it. Everyone talks about having these feelings—these butterflies or whatever—but I've never felt anything like that."

Her partner's mouth dropped open. "But how do you even know if you want to date someone if you've never felt that spark? You're missing out!" She had said it with the kind of enthusiasm that made Lila feel even more out of place.

Lila had shrugged, an uncomfortable laugh escaping her lips. She had tried, she really had. All throughout high school, she'd analyzed every interaction, every glance, every smile from the guys she knew. She'd checked for that spark everyone spoke of. Nothing.

She wasn't numb. She didn't feel incapable of attraction; she just didn't feel it. That thing that everyone else seemed to have experienced. Everyone seemed to have their first relationship in middle school, their first kiss, their first crush. And here she was, seventeen years old, about to graduate high school, and she had never experienced any of it. The weight of that reality hung over her, making Lila feel like she was falling behind, like there was something wrong with her.

She remembered the way her classmates would talk about their dates, about the butterflies they felt when they saw their crushes in the hallway. She'd listened, nodded, but inside, she just felt... confused. The more she listened to their stories, the more she wondered what it was like to feel that. Why didn't she feel it? Was there something missing in her? Was she broken?

Nobody would understand. Her assignment partner, for instance, had already gone through her fair share of high school drama and heartbreak, and was one of the several people baffled about Lila's struggle. Over the last few months, Lila finally had found the courage to face the truth: maybe she wasn't going to just feel the way others did.

But that didn't mean she didn't want to experience it. The idea of going through life without having felt a crush or a romantic attraction worried her. She wanted to know what it was like to hold hands with someone, to feel that warmth spreading in your chest when you looked at someone you liked. She wasn't in a rush, but she didn't want to be the only one left behind. She needed a starting point.

And that's where Jay Roman came in.

Jay wasn't someone Lila had ever thought about romantically. In fact, when she first saw him around campus, she hadn't even noticed him as someone she could develop feelings for. He was just another guy—confident, funny, and extremely popular with the girls at school. But what stood out to her about him was the way he interacted with everyone around him. He didn't act like the typical popular guy who used his charm to win over girls or led the school with an inflated sense of self-importance. He was always respectful, polite, and, most of all, he wasn't overbearing. There was something about his easygoing nature and unassuming confidence that made him stand out among all the others. He wasn't cocky or pretentious, but he was always friendly, always thoughtful, and never dismissive.

She wasn't exactly developing a crush on him—at least not in the way she thought she should. But in Jay, she saw someone who could teach her about all the things she was missing. If he could make it through high school without being consumed by drama, without falling into the traps most popular kids did, maybe he could show her what it meant to date without all the pressure. Maybe, just maybe, he could help her figure out how she was supposed to feel the way everyone else did.

So, she decided to take a leap. A big one.

Lila's heart raced as she approached him in the hallway, knowing how ridiculous she must look. She had rehearsed this conversation a thousand times in her head, and now that she was standing in front of him, she realized she didn't have a clue what she was going to say.

"Hey, Jay," she said, her voice a little shakier than she had anticipated.

Jay looked up, his expression softening in recognition as he leaned against the locker. "Hey, Lila. What's up?"

"Uh," she faltered. "Can I talk to you for a second?"

Jay's brow furrowed slightly, curiosity creeping into his eyes. "Sure, what's on your mind?"

Lila swallowed hard, her palms sweating. This was it. She could back out now, but she wouldn't. She had to know.

"Well," she began, her words tumbling out in a rush, "I, uh, I've never really... had a crush before. I've never dated anyone, and I was wondering if you could help me out."

She braced herself for a laugh, a mocking comment, or the polite rejection she was expecting. Instead, Jay looked at her with wide eyes, clearly surprised. For a moment, Lila thought she had made a huge mistake, but then something unexpected happened. Jay didn't dismiss her. He didn't laugh. He looked at her thoughtfully, his face softening.

"Wait, seriously?" he asked, his voice laced with surprise. "You're asking me to help you... date?"

Lila nodded, her nerves still tingling at the edges of her thoughts. "Yeah, I know it sounds weird, but I just... I need to know what it feels like. You're the only one I trust to help me understand it."

Jay took a deep breath, looking her up and down as if weighing his options. Then, without missing a beat, he broke into a smile. It wasn't the smile of a guy who thought she was out of her mind. It was warm, genuine, and, to Lila's surprise, a little bit impressed.

"You know," Jay said, his voice a little more serious than before, "that's... pretty brave of you, Lila. Not everyone would ask for help like that. Alright, let's do it. I'll help you out."

Lila blinked, not quite believing her ears. "You will?"

"Yeah," Jay said with a shrug, "I mean, why not? We'll call it... practice dates. Nothing too serious, just enough for you to figure out what it's like to be with someone."

Lila's heart skipped. "Wait, really? You're serious?"

Jay nodded, then held up his hand. "No money or weird stuff, though. I'm doing this out of the kindness of my heart."

Lila felt a flicker of suspicion but pushed it aside. Jay wasn't like the others. "Alright, but if you ever need anything, I'll do it. I'll make sure I'm worth the effort."

Jay grinned. "Deal."

Then, to Lila's surprise, he reached for her hand, as if to seal the deal. Lila froze for a moment, her face burning. She snatched her hand away instinctively, her heartbeat picking up speed.

Jay paused, looking at her with a raised eyebrow. "It's just a handshake, Lila. Relax."

Lila's face flushed a deeper shade of red, and she reluctantly placed her hand in his. As their palms met, she felt something she wasn't prepared for—a soft warmth, a gentle pressure, the feeling of something real starting to form between them. Jay's hand fit perfectly with hers, and, to her surprise, she felt a flutter she hadn't expected. It wasn't love. It wasn't even a crush. But it was the beginning of something. And that was enough for now.

"You've got this, Lila," Jay said softly, his voice warm and sincere. "You'll make someone a great girlfriend one day."