The Art of Falling in Love

Episode 1: Love | Unlucky

Raelyn:

I dreamt of playing in Carnegie Hall again. How many times did that make? Three? Seven? Over a hundred? It didn't matter: I was sick of it. The dreaded casts over my body were released after three months, and the extra couple months of physical therapy hell was over at last. Finally, I was discharged from the hospital.  My junior year at Ellin Arts Academy would start next week, but I could no longer feel any happiness or excitement when the name of that school would pop into my head.

"Miss Gallagher... I hate to say this, but, judging by the damages to your body, it does not look like you'll be able to play music again. At least, not like you used to."

The doctor's words rang in my ears incessantly, and I wanted to tear them out from my conscience, but it was no use. There was no escaping the fact that I could no longer hold my beloved piano and violin and play those beautiful tunes straight from my heart. What was left for me at Ellin? I couldn't bear the thought of being reduced to nothing more than a normal, non-arts student. Everyone who looked up to me would be disappointed while my rivals would rejoice.

The music world, which my life had revolved around, was now forever out of my reach.

~

Ellin Arts Academy was a prestigious boarding school from middle school through high school, accepting those with excellent academic aptitude and a gift for the fine arts. Of course, there are those who attend Ellin Academy just for the rigorous academics without getting involved in the arts. No tuition was necessary: auditions, interviews, and tests determined whether or not you qualify. The only exception was that you'd pay for your uniform and textbook. Ellin was also four hours away from my home, the same distance as my older sister's college. So my sister Rachel would drop me off at my dorm house while she'd stay in her apartment a few blocks away.

Rachel Gallagher was three years my senior and had recently started her second year in college. By looking at our faces, Rachel and I looked very similar—almost like twins. We shared the same hazel eyes and light brown hair; however, Rachel had a few blonde highlights, the length of her hair was right at her lower back and there was a tinge of blue in her eyes. My hair, on the other hand, was chopped into a short pixie-bob, and my eyes didn't have any tinge of an exotic color like hers. The only other obvious difference was our heights: she stood at around five-eight, while I was four-eleven and a half. She was also a gifted vocalist who wowed everyone in Ellin's vocal music department, and has already been asked to sing in the Metropolitan Opera. I admired her: my sister was one of the reasons I fell in love with music and auditioned for Ellin Academy. But after the incident, all I could do was apologize to her for being such a disappointment and a failure.

We stopped at a Starbucks nearby Ellin's campus, and upon noticing my increasing anxiety, Rachel consoled me, "Allegra (Rachel always made it a habit to call people by their middle name, demanding that everyone do the same for her), I know you must be extremely upset right now, and I don't blame you... I'm aware that I don't fully understand your feelings, and it may sound insensitive from me—but please understand that that's not my intention—I just think that you should still do your best at Ellin. Even though you're no longer an arts student, you should still give it your all. Try joining a sports team or something. If music will only bring you pain, then I want you to get your mind off of it as much as possible so that it won't be painful anymore."

I understood Rachel's intentions behind her words, and she had a point. If I continued to mull over the loss of my musical abilities, then I cannot move on with my life. I knew of the difficult journey ahead of me. Music was my life, but as fate would have it, music was not the path for me to walk. Still, I couldn't forget about music. I could never forget the impact it had on me. Nothing could soothe this agonizing pain.