Snippets of Madam Sirr (S1)

Chapter 14

Her eyes instinctively settled on a photo of them as she regained her composure, a brief fire fluctuating in her eyes. The photo brought her back grounding her in the present, a brief smile forming on her lips. She grasped the photo caressing the frame feeling KS's presence even in her absence. Haseena drew her strength from KS. She knew that KS would always be in her heart, an unwavering token of her love. She would support KS, Haseena thought with a fierce determination, whether or not KS stayed with her. Haseena eyes lingered on the photo, her heart prowling on nostalgia as she rose, swift and determined. Haseena took the resignation letter smothering its creases as she looked at it one last time before unlocking her drawer and placing it in the folder to be sent to the HQ. Haseena exhaled a long breath, her eyes resting on the horizon. Life would change but Haseena had to adapt. She had no other choice.

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Puspha Ji's POV

Pushpa Ji stood seated at Badhnam's stall, a cup of chai in her hand. She kept glaring at the ground, her mind restless as the sunlight burned her. She kept stealing glances at Haseena's cabin, her heart skipping a beat every time she saw her. She placed the tea on the table almost knocking it to the ground. She clasped her hands together weaving them tightly.

The sunlight filtered to the ground in various patterns and shapes dancing across Puspha Ji's eyes. Her mind echoed with KS's words.

"Amma, I'm resigning."

Pushpa Ji's heart volleyed forward, a sudden pain clasping her body. She bit her lower lip to control her mind's frenzy yet it had no avail. She stood as still as rock as the waves of memoires washed over her.

Her mind flashed back to the first time she saw her daughter in law in her uniform. Her eyes had swelled with pride. Puspha Ji recalled each moment, replaying in her mind as she witnessed KS surpass her expectations as both a daughter in law and an officer. Puspha Ji had no words to express her pride at how her daughter matured stepping into the shoes of a natural born leader. She sighed the tears resting on her eyelids as she voyaged back to the present.

Puspha Ji's head turned instinctively to the building of the MPT, her heart lurching as the building stood, a silent memento of her life. She laughed despite herself remembering the saas bahu fights that iterated each day automatically as KS and Puspha Ji went inside the station. She fidgeted with her fingers twitching each finger as her mind flayed in turmoil with KS's decision.

Pushpa Ji's mind rose to the past, her eyes flashing between her past and present. She recalled how she had helped KS during her initial days as a SI. She skipped a beat as her mind hovered on KS's playful insults and taunts everyday as her senior. As the decision of KS's resignation weighed heavily in her mind, Puspha Ji desperately yearned to have one more day at the station with her daughter in law. She nursed her thumb dragging herself back to the reality as she wondered on KS's decision.

"Karishma....." she thought to herself. "I'm not happy with your decision" she said as tears filled her eyes. "Why would you want to give up your aspiring police career?" Puspha Ji angrily slammed the bench whining in pain.

"I understand that you need to protect your married life...." She said desperately reassuring herself. "But Karishma...life is all about balance...."

She stopped herself nursing the gaping hole in her heart. She sighed, drawing a large breath and stood up. She glanced at the MPT again, the sunlight dancing on the defying structure, her heart groaning under the weight. Change is inevitable, she thought as she walked, her legs stiff as wood. She knew that as a mother she would always support KS. She held her head high as she walked despite her faltering steps as her heart lightened. She would have KS, as her daughter forever in her heart.

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KS's POV

In the secluded space of the bedroom, a figure paced around the room constantly fidgeting with her hands. She stopped throwing up her hands, her mouth a thin line of aggression and continued her walk again. Her eyes swam in a milky white nothingness as nausea welled up in her. She sat down in the bed, the mattress sagging down with her weight. She interlocked her hands pinching her nerves as she stared at the ground.

KS had never felt so conflicted in her life. She had always pursued confidence, her demeanor nothing but demanding. But today, as she stood, her breath wheezing, she felt the doors of her heart closed as if all light had been extinguished from her life. She sighed, a lone teardrop jutting out, her bhaukhal subdued in the face of the stormy emotions brewing inside her.

KS kept questioning herself, her mind gnawing with doubt. She had handed her resignation letter in a haste, overwhelmed by emotions. KS had never thought that she'd have to take such a drastic step in her life, to resign from the life that she loved more than herself. Her mind flitted back to her childhood overthrown with the burdens of poverty where the only flame that kept her steady was her dream; her dream of becoming a police officer. She couldn't believe that she had just resigned. She got up from the bed and paced again, pinching the flesh of her palm.

She had to protect her married life, she thought attempting to justify her decision. But what about her career, her mind echoed. Seeds of doubt grew within herself as she screamed, an earth-shattering scream that curled her nerves. She sat down on the floor, pinching herself to stay grounded, to stop the memories from overpowering her. Yet, she felt herself powerless to stop the memories kicking in as a drug that restrained her body.

Her eyes rested on the familiar building she'd known for her entire life; the MPT. She walked through the long hallways, her steps creaking in the woodened floor. It felt as an extension of herself. She stopped, her head turning towards madam sir's cabin. Madam Sir, the very name blew an alarm in her mind as her walls crumbled. She recalled the promise she had made to haseena, that she'd always be there for her. KS was now breaking her own promise.

She stood up in a sudden frenzy, a dangerous gleam shining in her eyes as she rushed towards the wall. She balled her fists and punched the wall, bits of debris ricocheting over her. She kept punching letting out all her anger, each punch vibrating through her hand, sending spasms throughout her body. Her eyes closed, swimming in patches of red as she kept her relentless assault until finally her body clambered to the floor. She held her hand, blood oozing throughout as she backed into the wall.

The pain sent rockets of electrolytes firing through her neurons yet KS knew the anguish burning through her mind was greater than her physical pain. She let go, breaking her walls, succumbing to the tears. Through her glazed eyes, her heart doted on her uniform hanging on the cupboard. She bit back as a cloud of nostalgia hugged her. She pressed her balled fist on the ground, the pain grounding her to reality as her eyes focused on her uniform. She recalled her promise, her vow to uphold the dignity of the law. She stood up, her eyes narrowed slits focusing on one thing. She had another commitment to uphold; her marital life.

KS composed herself still buckling under the pressure of unspoken emotions. She had to abide by her decision. She accepted that. She knew that she couldn't change it. She was KS, she grilled into herself. She would not bow down. She would accept the change and she too would change. No matter the gravity.

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