Storm // Matty Healy ♣ The 1975

21.

Matty's POV///

Lizzy fell asleep next to me that night after crying for a solid hour and a half. You'd have thought that after almost two years, I would have known what to say to her, but it seemed that the further into our relationship, and the more fucked up I got, I became more and more clueless.

I glanced down at her, the side of her face pressed deeply into the mattress, her knees curled up loosely so that she was in a fetal position. I could just about make out the red tints on her tear stained cheeks trough the darkness of our bedroom.

I couldn't believe I was doing this to her.

Fuck, I was ruining her life, and it had hardly even started.

She was getting more tired every day, whenever she went to have a bath or shower without me, I could hear her crying through the walls, even though she clearly thought I couldn't.

I looked down at her again and sighed, reaching out and running my calloused fingertips through her hair as gently as I could.

"That's a little creepy." She mumbled, catching me off guard and making me jump a little.

"Jesus Liz, I thought you were asleep." I laughed nervously, trailing one finger down the her spine through the fabric of her shirt.

"I can't sleep knowing that you can't." She mumbled, hoisting herself up and shifting closer to me. She layed down again with her head in the middle of my chest. I rested my hand on the small of her back and sighed.

"Do you think we're good together?" I asked, holding my breath. Lizzy's eyebrows furrowed together.

"Yeah of course. What do you mean?" She asked and I shrugged slightly.

"I dunno. I just feel like I've fucked your life up, and y'know Lizzy, it hasn't even really begun yet."

I shut my eyes and listened to her taking a long sigh.

"Matty, without you it would have probably been over way before now." She said.

I couldn't help smiling a little at the thought of her being okay with us.

"You make me whole, Lizzy. You fix me, y'know?"

Lizzy shook her head into my chest.

"Other people aren't medicine, Matty."

Once again, she was right, and I love it. 

I loved her, and I didn't tell her half as much as I should have. 

"I love you, Lizzy."

"I love you too." She replied softly. 

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Lizzy's POV

I woke up the next morning with him beside me. We were both shirtless, only in our underwear. It was too hot for clothes, it was too hot for anything, the temperature was suffocating me. 

I stared up at the ceiling, remembering the happenings of the previous day. I sighed a little. 

I felt like I was living in a circle. Something good happened, then it got bad, then good again and so on.

Matty was the constant good in my life, and he remained that way no matter how upset i got with him. 

I turned to look at him. He had fallen asleep with his phone on his chest and both of his arms wrapped around me. 

I couldn't breathe with his heart beating against my ear. He still made me  sickly happy whenever he was near. It was fucked up, I was fucked up. 

"I'm going over to Jamie's today with the rest of the guys, to plan stuff." He said suddenly into the back of my neck. I jumped a little making him laugh, because it was exactly what he had done to me the previous night. 

"Okay." I said, a little taken aback. Of course, I knew the band wouldn't just end, it meant too much to all of them, I was just scared that Matty wouldn't be able to handle it, and he hadn't spoken to me about it at all.

I hated myself for smothering him so much, but I would hate myself more if something happened to him.

"I only arranged it late last night, I'm sorry." He mumbled suddenly. Seemingly picking up on my confusion. 

I shook my head groggily. 

"No, it's fine, Matty. I'm glad." I smiled at him, reaching over and brushing my fingers through his curls gently. He grinned at me and leaned over my body, pressing his lips to the side of my ribs where my tattoo was. 

"I fucking love you." He said after a while. I giggled slightly at the feeling of his breath tickling my skin. 

"I love you too ,Matty." 

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