Further On (Zayn Malik)

Chapter 23

It's the next morning and I'm making homemade French toast for breakfast. I feel a little better and not so secretive, but Zayns been treating me differently.

"I'm making breakfast." I speak up once he comes downstairs.

He shakes his head and flags me, then point to his phone, indicating that he's talking to someone.

"Okay," I say quietly, nodding my head then flipped the toast.

"Mommy! Are you done?!" Noah stands at my leg with a firetruck in his hand.

"Yeah, in a little bit." I put down the spatula on the side of the griddle and pick him up. "I love you."

I kiss him.

"I love you Mommy."

And I almost cry. My kids love me unconditionally, I'll always have their love. I put the last of the French toast on the plate to cool down a little then I put Noah in his chair. After, I grab Joel and he's giggling like crazy. I put him in his chair and hand him his sippy cup with orange juice mixed with water.

"Zayn-" I begin to say but he puts his hand up to me.

My body gets hot and does this weird feeling thing.

"It's good?" I ask Joel as he takes his tiny pieces I cut up for him and shoves it in his mouth.

"Mumumumum!" He folds his lips under his teeth.

"Daddy come eat eat too!" Noah screams and Zayn smiles at him, says something on the phone and hangs up.

Oh. Right.

"Did you want syrup?" I ask and then I smell the syrup and get sick.

I run into the bathroom and throw up in the toilet. Oh this hurts. I hold my stomach and continue to wretch over the toilet until it turns into dry heaves. Finally letting my tears free, I slump by the toilet burying my face in the big hoodie that I'm wearing. There's a knock on the door.

"I'll be out in a minute!" I call out, abruptly standing and cleaning myself up.

I lift the hoodie and turn to the side, shaking my head. Why did this happen now? I open the door and see Zayn shaking his head then walking away.

"I can't help it. I'm sorry." I look down. "Do you hate me, because I'm pregnant again?"

He still doesn't say anything.

"Zayn-"

"I married you didn't I?!" He shouts.

"Daddy why you yelling?!" Noah covers his ears in disgust.

"That should prove it." He mutters, typing on his phone.

"I'm going to my doctor today, to see if everything is alright. Do you want to come with me? I'll drop the boys off at my mom's- I mean at your mom's."

"No, I have work." He looks at me exasperated. "You know this."

"I-I know but, for Noah and Joel you called off."

"Because I wanted Noah and Joel." He mumbles under his breath and I don't think that he knows I heard him.

"Mumumumum!" Joel holds his arms out to me."

"I going to Nonny's!" Noah excitedly claps.

"Yeah, let's go give you a bath."

It's been five weeks since the first appointment I've had. Zayn hasn't shown up to one... I find it crazy that he's home watching the boys, but I'm here at this appointment.