Going The Distance

Chapter Eighteen - Born To Try

I knew I had to tell Jackson the truth about Daniel. I'd left it too long as it was, and it was beginning to swallow me whole. Aside from my indecision about college and ever moving back to New York, it was like this giant dark thunderous cloud hanging above my head, gathering more and more water to drown me with.

I walked down stairs to find Jackson. We were home alone, his parents and the twins had gone out for parent teacher evening at the school. It was the perfect time to tell him, to rip the band aid off, maybe he wouldn't hate me.

"Dude, you missed an amazing party." Daniel's voice echoed through the kitchen, I scowled and turned to go back up stairs.

"I'm sure I had more fun in New York with Amber." Jackson replied.

"What was in New York anyway? Everyone was being so vague on the details."

"If she wanted you to know she'd tell you." Jackson replied.

"Come on bro, we don't have secrets." Daniel said, and it was the straw that broke the camel's back. I turned back around and continued to walk down the stairs and in to the kitchen. Both boys looked up at me, but they had completely different expressions. Daniel choked on his juice, then raised his eyebrows.

"Uh, hey Amber." He said slowly. "How was New York?"

I shrugged and walked over to the fridge and opened it. "Oh you know. So, use any girls or betray any hearts while we were away?" I said mindlessly. I heard Jackson gasp, but I chose to ignore it. Once he knew what Daniel had done... he wouldn't be so surprised.

"No." He replied. "Someone I have a lot of respect for called me out on my behavior."

"Dude, loads of people have called you out on the way you treat girls." Jackson laughed. "It's never stopped you before."

"Let's just say this person really got through to me." Daniel mumbled. "I have to go."

Jackson frowned but stood up anyway. "You sure you don't want to hang around, Amber and I were going to order in pizza and watch movies."

"Oh, uh..." He looked at me and swallowed hard. "That wouldn't be a good idea."

Jackson let out an exasperated sigh and looked between Daniel and I. he picked up his wallet and walked over to the kitchen door. "I'm going to get pizza, and when I get back you two better be over whatever this is okay?"

He left, leaving Daniel and I staring at each other. Daniel sat back down and looked at the table, he drew circles with his fingers, and gone was the normally over confident boy I'd always known.

"I want to tell him." I murmured. "This secret is pulling me down."

Daniel nodded. "I know you do. God, I've gone over what I would say if I ever told him the truth. I don't like keeping this secret. But I have no choice, I don't want to hurt him either."

"You already did." I huffed. "The minute you went after his girlfriend, you hurt him, he just didn't know it yet."

"I didn't go after her because she was dating him." He said defensively. "I know you think I'm a walking dick with no feelings just testosterone, and I guess sometimes I am. But it was different with her."

My eyes narrowed and I walked over to the table. "Different how?"

"She would always send me these looks, they did something to me, made me weak. I told myself she was just flirty, but one night she text me, and we started talking."

"Why didn't you just ignore it?"

"I ask myself that all the time."

"So you expect me to keep your secret because what... you weren't just in it for sex?"