Learning To Love - Jamie Campbell Bower

"I Love You"

"So what your mother was saying was that she didn't want you to leave me like you did to Erica?"

Jamie nodded. "Yes. But you have to know that you are not like Erica. Erica was a close, close friend, but I feel differently about you than I did her, you have to know that." His eyes plead with me.

I understood, so I nodded. "I'm not Erica."

"You're not Erica. You never will be."

The topic of exes wasn't really over until Jamie asked what I knew was inevitable - so he went ahead and asked while I packed a few things into my over-flowing suitcase.

"What about you?"

I already knew what he meant as I stopped folding my shirt, but I still said "What?"

"Exes...you have exes, right?" Jamie was lounged on my bed, watching me.

"I haven't had anyone since Peter."

Jamie nodded, but then his eyes widened.

"Wait you haven't...you know," He lowed his chin, gesturing, "in eight months?"

"If what you're saying is we should -"

"No I'm not suggesting that, it's not even about that, it's just, 8 months? With no..." He seemed lost for words.  "Companionship? Love?"

"Lots of people stay single for years."

"Yeah I guess..." His shoulders relaxed again. "I can't."

"You can't?"

"I need someone."

"Yet you decided to move country for a while?" I tossed the folded shirt into the suitcase.

"Well...I had hope."

"Hope?"

He nodded. "Hope."

I grin teasingly. "So this was just part if the plan?"

Jamie started to get up off the bed. "Don't think of it that way! I just had to-"

He's interrupted by my laughter, as I cross the room and plant a kiss on his lips, relaxing his panicked expression. "I get it Jamie, don't worry."

He flopped back down onto the bed in response.

Shortly after, we called it a night and went to our respective rooms to try sleep in the vain attempt to prepare us for the slog of jet lag that would inevitably come for us in our travels back to Australia. I drifted off to sleep immediately, but found myself interrupted.

"Heidi."

I find myself being pulled from sleep.. Did I her something?

"Yeah? " I murmur, my eyes opening to see Jamie standing next to my bed, moonlight making his pale hair look like an eerie, glowing halo. "Jamie?"

"Hi."

I pull myself back onto my elbows, glancing at my alarm clock. "Jamie, it's 2am. What are you doing?"

"I need to let you know something."

"You need to let me know something at 2am in the morning?"

"...Yeah."

Jamie looked awkward and cold standing up, so I lift the edge of the blanket up. "Get in, you'll freeze."

Jamie slides under the cover, next to me. His body is cold, like he's been out of bed for a little while, enough to cool down, at least. We're both lying on our backs, and Jamie takes my hand under the covers.

I squeeze his cold hand. "What have you been up to?"

"Thinking."

"While what? Running outside in the melted snow? You're cold."

"No, just thinking."

I'm starting to get a little weirded out by Jamie's vagueness, something is up. "Well, what have you been thinking about?"

"You."

I gulp inaudibly. "Is that a good thing, or a bad thing?"

Jamie squeezed my hand under the covers. "It's a good thing, you're always a good thing for me. That's what I was thinking about. I was thinking about how lucky I am to have you, about how even dreary old London can be brightened with you by my side, how you do that by making me laugh, or even by just being here."

I turned my head towards Jamie, meeting his gaze in the dark, moonlight glinting in his eyes.

My mind is still fogged from sleep.

"It's 2am." I murmur.

"I love you."

Ok, forget fogged.

It's like a reflex that I respond.

"I love you, too."

Jami half sits up, resting on his elbow, facing me. "Really?"

I blink. "Of course Jamie." I gaze up at him, my fingers tracing along his jawline, feeling the slight stubble. "You know how you say that six months ago, you would never be so comfortable in the ocean, at the beach? In the water?"

Jamie's eyes had closed at my touch, but they open again. "Yeah?"

"That was me with love. That was me with...life. You've taught me how to love again...how to trust a person, how to feel-"

I suddenly find myself interrupted, as Jamie ducks his head down and his lips take mine, a slender hand cupping my chin to tilt my head up to his.

He does that way too often - interrupting me with kisses, I mean. Is there irony in having your mouth interrupted by someone else's?

I wasn't putting up with it. I pull away.

"So," I whisper. "That's what you wanted to tell me?"

Jamie grins, teeth practically glowing in the dark. "Yeah."
"I'm so sleepy."

"I know, but I had to tell you, it was overdue."

"I'm glad you did."

Jamie started shifting. "I'm going to let you go to sleep now..."

I smile, "m'kay."

"I love you."

"I love you Jamie."

"Say it again, one more time before I leave."

"I love you, Jamie."

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Awwwwww......

Hey!

So I don't know how many My Chemical Romance fans I have here but if you ARE one or you're curious, I HAVE A SECOND WATTPAD  which you can check out at thegerardwaytoslay - there's a pretty neat poem on there that I might also put on here and it would mean the world to me if some of you readers checked it out? Thankyouthankyouthankyou...

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xx