p e n u m b r a (discontinued)

Chapter 4: I need Clarity

"Oh, good for you. But if you want a new start, why are you selling on campus?"

"Who said I was selling on campus? That's a suicidal move. At my old school, business was good. But here with these girls? Please. They wouldn't even dare to sniff glue much less cocaine. I take my business out to the town, where all the losers gather and grieve about how life is so unfair. I swear, they're like ghosts. They'd do anything to feel alive again, even if it means slowly killing themselves... They used to be my people you know, my family...... Woah, I'm really talking too much. You're really easy to talk to Kat. Either that or you're manipulative as hell. Haha."

"I didn't make you say anything!" I chuckle with her. We see the cafeteria, but instead we decide to stay outside and sit on the grass. We like talking to each other. It lets us speak of the things weighing on our minds. Often times I ask her why we tell each other so much. She answers me with a riddle.

"Who's the one person you can talk to better than you're best friend?" She asks me. Of course I don't know the answer. "A stranger," she replied. I didn't really get it at first, but the more I talk to her, I come to understand.

"So what's your story Kat? Why are you here?" She asked as she laid down on the grass and looked up at the cloudy sky. I laid down next to her.

"...My Grandmother died. I've lived with her all my life. My mom died when I was born and my father... well, he was practically non-existent until recently. So when my Nana passed, I had no one. My father had custody of me, and I wanted absolutely nothing to do with him. So it was either foster care or boarding school. Nana put off a specific bank account filled with all the money I would ever need for this school. It was her dream for me to come here. So I didn't necessarily have a choice."

"Your Grandma seemed alright."

"She was the best part of me... when she died, half of me died with her."

"I'm sorry Kat." I feel Jolie's hand touch my own. I turn to look at her, her eyes show deep concern. I give a reassuring grin, and weave my fingers into the spaces in between hers. She smiles back at me, and she beams. I beam with her.

"Yea, my pops walked out on us too. So did my mom. It was me and my big brother. He's my guardian. He's doing everything he can to make sure I'm going to school and staying on the straight and narrow... If I didn't have him my world would freeze over." Jolie almost seems sad.

"It's good that you have someone to trust."

"Well you do too... I mean, you have me. You can trust me."

"Heh heh, thanks Jolie,"

"Call me Jo."

"Sure, Jo." We both look up at the sky together, laying in the peace and serenity. I notice again, that there's no sun. There are just a billion shades of gray that spread out across the sky.

"Hey," I call out to Jo. "Do you think the sun will ever show it's face?"

"Not here," she sighs. "Not ever,"

****

"Why is English class so damn easy?!" exclaims a very boisterous Mr. Wright. He's my first period English Teacher. He seems so excited to teach, it's almost captivating. I sit in the very back of his class, by the window, where I can marvel at him in privacy and still gaze at the sun that would never show.

"Basically, all teachers ask of you is to read whatever text they give you and understand. Which is basically all an English class expects from you. But that's boring right? Some might say it's even inadequate. What's the point of reading and understanding something that you're bound to forget the next day? This class is designed to be different. You will be asked not only to read and understand, but to make connections with the world around you, and trigger emotions inside yourself. Introspection and Outrospection are key to learning about you, the individual, and you, a vital piece of a bigger picture. You'll read texts that haunt you, make you laugh, make you cry, and you will see by the end of the year how you have grown as a young woman in a tainted yet remarkable society. It's more than just reading, its philosophy, ethics, philanthropy, art, culture, it's learning about the art of being human through text. Together, we will learn to be better humans and to think on a greater plane, with open minds and open hearts."