invisible string ✓

twenty

• ADVIKA •

“Harsh, I can explain this—”

But before I could even try to explain, my beloved man cut through my words like he always did. “Okay, explain. Let me see how efficiently you could bluff this time.”

“Harsh,” I called his name with a sense of carefulness. “We need to talk. Listen, I've been planning to do this, but—”

“Planning to do what? Fuck other men behind my back? Seriously, Advika!”

Okay, why does he sound like he had never thought of women other than me?

“I'm telling you, Harsh. We need to talk in privacy. I can explain this.” Shifting my focus towards Ishaan, I requested, “Ishaan, could you please—”

“I understand,” he interrupted me, suggesting that he was way more understanding than my boyfriend who was also my would-be ex. “I'll wait outside.”

As he walked out of the house and closed the door, Harsh shot a demanding glare at me and asked, “Tell me.”

“Harsh.” Due to my inability to say what I wanted to despite my mind suggesting thousands of words I had for him, I paused for a moment while my mind summarised it all in that moment. As I was done, I said, “We need to break up,” instead of wasting time beating around the bush.

“What?” A flabbergasted Harsh let out a chuckle of disbelief, which I soon wiped off with that one monologue I have been practising ever since the thought of ending things with him hit my mind.

“I mean it, Harsh. You know, this one year with you was very memorable. I may sound like I'm lying, but it's true. You, my first love, have given me many best moments in my life to cherish with. I thought you were my life, my love, and my soul.

“But then, as our relationship went on, I learnt that we are no good match but a source of destruction for each other.” After pausing a little to notice the perplexion in his face, I continued, “I feel that I'm no longer being myself when I'm around you. I feel afraid to express my honest feelings and opinions when I'm with you. When it comes to you, being honest feels like a punishment to me. I understand that love is all about making sacrifices. But, sacrificing everything— that I may end up with nothing to lose— in the name of love? I don't think that's how a relationship works.

“I know our relationship drains you out as well. And, I understand that. Hence, for the sake of your mental health and mine, I think that it's wise to split ways. I hope you—”

He started laughing his ass off as if whatever I uttered for the last minute meant nothing. Or, did he inhale nitrous oxide instead of oxygen?

“How funny my ex is!” Just as he uttered those words, I realised that he was being fake for the gazillionth time. “You know what, Advika? I think you need to start a stand-up comedy show. I'm sure it will sell more tickets than an IPL match. Why did you break up? Because, I care a lot about my mental health and my ex's. Oh, please! Stop using technical terms like mental health to back your cheater behaviour. That would help better. I may sound like I'm lying, but then, it was a good speech. Great job!”

“Thank you, Mr Mathur. I use my brains  better when you're not here.” As I confirmed that his saccharine smile vanished, I wore a smile and continued, “And talking about technical terms… Well, do they scare you a lot? No wonder you're losing the argument and the girl. Now if you could excuse me, I would continue clearing the trash in my house. To start with you, it would be of great help if you walk out the same way you entered. So, please.” Pointing to the door, I knew that there couldn't be a more direct way than this to ask him to get out of my house— and my life.