Finding Strength in the Pause

Chapter 3: Finding Solace in Creativity

One month into my injury, I felt like I was hitting rock bottom. Hand therapy was progressing at a snail's pace, and the pain was still my constant companion. Work was ignoring me, and I was withdrawing from my loved ones. I felt ashamed to admit the circumstances of my injury, and the therapist's attempts to examine my hand left me wincing in pain and anxiety.

But amidst the darkness, I found a glimmer of hope in the unlikeliest of places - wedding planning! With Gabe's encouragement, I threw myself into exploring my creative side, envisioning a beautiful, intimate ceremony that would celebrate our love. The excitement of planning our special day distracted me from the pain and gave me a sense of purpose.

As I delved deeper into wedding planning, I discovered a newfound passion for crafting and design. I spent hours creating personalized decorations and envisioning our dream wedding. The creative outlet was a balm to my soul, helping me cope with the frustration and despair that had been suffocating me.

Then, a beacon of hope emerged on the job front. I found a promising opportunity that reminded me of my fulfilling early childhood job in the country. With my doctor's assurance, I accepted the position, feeling a sense of excitement and purpose. Finally, something was going right!

But just as I thought I was turning a corner, the ultrasound results revealed a suspected tear in my TFCC, requiring a soft cast and no lifting, gripping, or working. Devastated, I felt like my world was crumbling around me. 

But then, something wonderful happened. Gabe and I decided to adopt a new furry friend, Maple, to bring some joy and comfort into our lives. Her arrival was like a ray of sunshine, lifting my spirits and helping to alleviate the emotional weight of my injury. With Maple by my side, I felt a sense of comfort and companionship, reigniting a sense of purpose and happiness in my life.

As the pain slowly began to subside, I realized that my journey towards recovery and a new beginning was far from over. But with creativity, love, and determination - and now, with Maple's adorable antics and snuggles - I was ready to face whatever lay ahead.

I waited anxiously for three weeks, hoping my hand would recover enough to start my new job. But my intuition proved correct - my hand still hadn't improved. With a heavy heart, I informed my new boss that I needed to postpone my start date. 

To my relief, they were understanding and offered modifications like no lifting and flexible hours. I updated my doctor, who agreed to a gradual return to work, starting with a few hours a week. Elated, I shared the news with my new boss, feeling a glimmer of hope. 

But two days later, my world came crashing down. They reversed their decision, citing inability to accommodate reduced hours. My job was put on hold until I could return without limitations, leaving me heartbroken and financially strained. I felt like I'd been punched in the gut, my dreams of a new beginning shattered.The uncertainty was suffocating, and I couldn't shake off the feeling that my situation was spiralling out of control. 

Despite the disheartening news, I decided to take a much-needed break and join my close friend Sophie at a hot air balloon festival. The vibrant colors and majestic balloons lifted my spirits, filling me with laughter, joy, and a sense of freedom from the uncertainty surrounding my hand injury and career. The relaxing soak in the hot pools was the perfect complement to the weekend's festivities, although swimming was a bit challenging due to the lingering pain.

As I basked in the glow of a wonderful weekend, my therapist suggested referring me to a specialist for further imaging. I didn't mind, still feeling positive and rejuvenated.The specialist my doctor had referred me to earlier had denied my request, citing no obvious break. Now, I had to wait for the new specialist to assess my condition. The uncertainty was still there, and one question still haunted me would I be able to return to my passion for early childhood education, or would I need to explore a new career path?