The Stripper Equation

Pizza My Heart

I scoffed.  “He was never my boyfriend.”  I could see Noah already getting ready to make another implication so I further clarified.  “He was never my anything but thorn in my side tormentor.  He knew he was better than me and never let me forget it.  We interned together and he treated me as if I was his personal assistant.  And since he was, well, Lance Van Burren, he was allowed to treat me that way.”  Noah looked at me with sympathy, he grew up chubby, he understood being treated like a second class citizen.  “He was the main reason I gave up on being a lawyer.

Noah started to get protective.  “Did he do something to you?”

I put my hand up to calm him down.  “No he didn’t do anything to me.  But I was better than him in every possible way.  Tests, grades, even the bar I scored higher but guess who got picked up by a firm right away?”  Noah didn’t answer he knew where this was going.  “He had one thing over me.  A name.  And apparently that was the only thing that mattered.”  I was over feeling sorry for myself.  “So I got a new name, Ginger, and that name has opened so many doors for me.”  I fanned my hand out in front of me in an exaggerated way.  As if the doors that were opened for Ginger were worth anything.  But if nothing else it gave me Daphne and my strange co-dependent relationship with Vinnie and Tori.  So I can’t ever regret it too much.

            Noah leaned in for a kiss.  “Well it definitely opened the door to my heart.”  I rolled my eyes and leaned in for another kiss.  My stomach growled fiercely.  When he pulled away he pulled me back into the crowd.  “Let’s go eat.”

           

            We walked a few more blocks to my apartment.  We decided to order a pizza.  Noah called it in.  “I can’t believe you ordered bacon, ham, pineapple, and onion.”  I couldn’t believe it when he ordered.  It was my father’s favorite kind of pizza.  Every year on his birthday I order a pie and eat the whole thing while watching a bunch of crappy Clint Eastwood movies and bawl my eyes out.

            “I asked you what you wanted.  You told me to order so I did.”  He reached across the table to grab my hand.  “Besides I’m a reformed fat kid.  So my taste in food is impeccable.”

            “Well I could argue that somebody who ate a lot had lower standards.”  I debated.

            Noah countered.  “Or they know what good is that’s why they eat a lot.  I mean come on would you take cooking advice from somebody whose family is skinny or a little pleasantly plump?”  His eyes sparkled.  “Would you listen to somebodies book recommendations if they didn’t have one book in their house?”  It made me think of Mark.  He had all those books in his apartment and I never once heard him mention any of them.

            “If you are right, then how come I never heard Mark talk about any of those books?  He never talked about reading.”  I was beginning to have doubts.  “Are you sure that thing couldn’t be wrong?”  I motioned towards Noah’s backpack.

            “I don’t know why he never talked about Tuck Everlasting with you Lennie, but I can swear to you that there weren’t any drugs in that apartment.”  He patted my hand reassuringly.

            “What if somebody got there first?  What if they were there but Kiera and Tanner got them out of there before we did?”  I wished I had thought of this sooner.

            Noah paused a moment.  “Well that’s a possibility.”

            I let go of his hand.  “That’s not very reassuring.  You were supposed to make me feel better.”

            Noah looked me up and down.  “Reassure you how?  I am not trying to make you feel better.  I am trying to help you get the drugs out of the club.”  His voice lowered as he spoke the end of the sentence.  “It is extremely possible that they could have gone in there and gotten the drugs.  Especially as soon as they found out Mark was going to be in there a while.  I would assume they are still selling out of the club.”  I didn’t even tell him that I suspected Tanner was the one actually in charge but Noah already seemed to know that was a possibility.

            “Well why didn’t you tell me that?  You let me think that as soon as Mark went away the drugs would go away.”  I was starting to get irritated.

            Noah again looked confused.  “I never said that.  I never implied that.  I’m sorry if you thought that.  Nothing is ever that simple.”  He attempted to reach out for my hand again but I just let it go limp.  “As soon as you cut off one head another one springs up in its place.”

            This was news to me.  He was making it sound hopeless.  “So then what’s the point?  If you can’t guarantee getting them out of my club why are you even wasting my time?”  Now it was Noah whose hand went limp.

            “I didn’t realize I was wasting your time.”  He sounded hurt and I knew that it was me that put it there.  “And we can get it out of your club.  We just need to remove everyone who is involved and make sure that whoever is coming in isn’t involved either.  That was all I meant by it.”

            “I’m sorry I didn’t mean it that way.”  I was apologizing a lot lately.

            Noah didn’t look me in the eye.  “Well I kind of think you did.”  Noah stood up and pulled his wallet out of his back pocket.  “Look I have to go.  I better get everything back before they realize it’s gone.”  He pulled out a few bills and tossed them on the coffee table.  “I think I have been pretty cool and understanding with everything that you’ve thrown my way.  And I really think you’re worth it.  But I keep getting the feeling that I’m getting used it’s getting pretty old.”  I should’ve said something to stop him.  I should’ve told him he was wrong.  “When you figure it out let me know.”  He let himself out.  He didn’t make sure it was locked behind him.

            Twenty minutes later I was sitting there eating my memoriam pizza and bawling.  Only this time the tears weren’t for my father.