Memo (Niall Horan AU)

05

A/N: I imagine Natalie Winters like the girl on the gif!

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Natalie Winters is everything I am not. For starters, she is a model and in my opinion she is stunning. I haven't met her in person and I have no idea how she is as a person so I am not going to judge that.

 What I do not understand in all this is where she stands with Niall. As you may guess, Niall and I aren't exclusive. It's safe to say that I do not have other sexual relationships apart from him but he does. 

 The first pictures of Niall and Natalie came out around September last year. Back then, people didn't make a big deal because she had a boyfriend and they were always with more people around, never alone. 

 Then there were no pictures of them together for two months till the start of December when the boys were promoting their new album on the U.S. Natalie being American make some time for Niall while he was there. 

 There was another two months without phone but them they were seen together in February while the boys were in Australia where she was having some photoshoots. 

 Then after that no more photos till now. I have already comforted Niall about her. Don't get me wrong, I didn't do it because I was jealous even though I was. I comforted Niall so he tells me if he was in a relationship with her because there is no way I am going to be a home wrecker. 

 Niall said they were just friends and that it was one friend of his the one she was interested in. Apparently, he was playing cupid on the two of them. Back then I believed him but there was come out more and more photos of them ever since and now she apparently was his date for the charity ball. 

 I felt cheated and used yet again by him. It's a feeling I tend to have every now and then. Every time he pulls things like this. Is that much to ask that he tells me 'hey I have a girlfriend we should just keep our relationship as just friends'? 

 He hurts me so much and so many times. I don't even want to see him right now. 

 He came back from tour ignored me for days then appeared in my apartment so we could have sex. Then he left this morning saying he had to work when in reality he had to attend a charity ball with his model girlfriend. 

 Being honest I am not surprised. Why would he want me to be his date? I am plain and boring, curvy, imperfect,...best friend. Then he has Natalie who is a drop dead gorgeous girl with the most beautiful brunette hair and petite frame. There is no competition. I am Forever 21 and she is Channel. 

 I am never one to put myself down but right now I can't help but compare ourselves. I will never have Niall's attention. He will never held my hand in public, he will never proclaimed his love for me, he will never be proud to introduce me to everyone as his girlfriend. 

 Maybe this is what I needed, a wakeup call, a reason to say goodbye to Niall and move on. I am sure there are lots of men out there who will love me for who I am and not as a toy they can play with. 

 Yet I knew saying goodbye to Niall will probably the most impossible thing in the world. He is my addiction and my weakness. No matter how many times he hurts me and disrespect me, I always crawl back to him. 

 I can't be mad at him for long and he knows it. Sometimes he doesn't even try to seek for my forgiveness, he just takes it for granted and waits a few days till I am back to my old self. I used to love when he made effort for forgiveness back in the old days. That was over a long time ago. He is Niall Horan, he doesn't beg for anyone. 

 I push myself from the couch when I heard a knock on the front door. One part of me wants it to be Niall so I can slam that door back on his face. One part of me wants it to not be him; I am not sure how I will really react if I have him in front of me. 

 Much to my luck or not, it was Niall. He looked down to his shoes before looking up at me. A large smile appeared on his face but I didn't react to that, I keep my straight face. 

 "I brought pizza. Cheese pizza your favorite." He said before giving me his best smile. 

 How I am supposed to stay mad at him when he smiles at me like that? How am I supposed to stay mad at him when he brought me pizza? My second biggest kryptonite is pizza. 

 I tried to stay mad but my heart has already given up. Niall's expression changes and I am sure he is not sure I am mad at him. 

 "Can I come in?" He asks and I nod before letting him in.