INFLICT "28 KISSES" Book Two

VI. Professional

Being at home for the first few days and I was still trying to figure out things. I had to put myself and him on a schedule or my ass was falling out in exhaustion. But Gabriel was a good baby sleeping throughout the night as long as he had a breast to eat off of we were cool.

Abel was heading back out to tour tomorrow. He was good with Gabriel and I loved seeing him sing him to sleep. Now Gabriel was down for the night and I could eat me some dinner.

"Is he asleep?" Abel asked as I sat at the table.

"Yeah finally. I was able to take a shower after he went to sleep." I said laying my head on the counter ready to just sleep.

He nodded his head as he eyed me on the other end of the counter. I felt his eyes burning a hole through me.

"Why were you with Aubrey when you went into labor?" He asked.

My head shot up swiftly as I looked at him like he was shit on a damn stick. My ass was tired and he wanted to talk to me about Aubrey. If he don't sit the hell down and get a clue.

"Did you ask him?" I snarled.

If he wanted to play this game I could play it better.

He smacked the counter. " Don't do that? Answer my question." He yelled.

I just looked at him shaking my head. Coward you couldn't ask your own friend but you'll ask me.

"What did he tell you?" I asked.

I saw the look in his eyes but I was getting on his level.

"Abigail dammit! Answer me." He said getting out of his seat.

I stood as he came near me. I made sure nothing was in my way so I could make a dash for it. I ran into the living room ready to hit it out the door. But my dumbass pulled on a locked door. I cursed myself for that one.

"Abel just let it go." I said as he came closer.

The bookcase was in my way I would surely hit the corner of it.

So I stood there ready for him. He pushed me into the wall.

"Why were you with Aubrey? Tell me now." He said with his hands on the wall trapping me.

"Why does it matter? He's been nicer to me than you've ever been. You can't even cuddle with me. So excuse me if I want something ordinary something other than whatever it is you give me." I spat.

His eyes just didn't hold any empathy for me.

"So he shows you a little attention and that's it?" He asked sarcastically.

I smacked the smug grin off his face as he laughed at my out cry.

"You have done nothing buy laughed at me since day one. But it stops here you can have your promises because it's time that I break my promise that I made due on. Fuck you Abel I don't want nothing else from you. You gave me enough heartache. I can't even recognize myself in the mirror. I have become a shell for you. And for what? Huh Abel? For what?" I said honestly.

His jaws just clenched shut as the vein in the middle of his forehead bulged out.

"I never made fun of you Abigail but it seems you take me for a joke. After all that I have given you. No one saw what I saw in you. I love you Abigail your supposed to be my wife." I looked at me.

I snatched the ring off my finger and the necklace from around my neck and threw it in hid face. I was tired of his futile words. They were of no more use or comfort to me. I saw him through a different lense. Like a fresh pair of eyes seeing the evil truth that stood before me.

"You can have Valerie your Puerto Rican groupie and any other woman you so desire. But you can no longer have me Abel. I'm not playing for keeps anymore when you can't keep your dick wrapped up or your promise to me. So go just go and I won't look back I won't think of how much I loved you. Just leave me alone." I sobbed uncontrollably.

He fell to the floor with me as I flinched away from his embrace. I wanted nothing of him not anything. I had what he had to offer me and I loved that little boy like none other. Chance after chance I couldn't give another chance. I had ran out of chances more times over. But with my baby I couldn't give out another one not even to his father.

"Abigail don't do this to me." He cried pulling me hands around his neck.

I chuckled at his selfishness. Now I was the bad guy.

"No Abel it's time for you to go you've worn out your welcome." I said crawling away from him.

I stood and left him in the middle of my floor. Seeing him and hearing him bawl his eyes our made my heart yearn to console him. But I couldn't I had to let him fall and hit his head this time.

I laid on my bed and cried my eyes out over him. I felt as if I had just lost someone. I was in pain all over my head hurt and my eyes were swollen by the time I finished. The bed rocked and I knew it was him.

"Abel..." He put his finger on my lips.

I laid there and let him kiss me all over but I had no fever for him just a bleak mind. It was too late for this. He felt the coldness and laid his head on my stomach and cried. I rubbed his head as he let his emotions go. But I refused to give in I refused to go back to that...to him.

That night he cried his self to sleep and held me. But I didn't sleep u waited until Gabriel cried to be fed and chnaged. By the time I was done with him Abel came in and kissed us goodbye. After hearing the front door close and him start his car. I laid Gabriel down and went to the shower to cry and scream out my emotions.

I had picked them up off the covers and let them seep back into my pores.
Once out the shower I pulled Gabriel's bed into my room with his diapers and wipes. Everything he needed I pulled into my room and locked us in there. I watched him sleep as my body was to wired to sleep. I kept thinking about him and found myself ready to text him and say that I didn't mean it. But I did I meant every word.
Without what I said he would've still chose that shit over Gabriel and I. Maybe not Gabriel but he didn't care enough for me to let that shit fly. That's what hurt me most. That I didn't matter enough that the ring and promises were just for his muse. The time the energy the baby the sleepless nights the near death experience weren't enough to earn my place my rightful place in his life.

He was all I wanted and even having him physically I couldn't have him mentally or emotionally. I needed help in needed to see someone before I went over the cliff. Before I did something crazy and foolish because I was going through withdrawals and my body quaked as I thought about my drug being out of reach.

I needed a "PROFESSIONAL" and fast for the sake of my son for the sake of living just because dammit he wasn't worth it.

Tell me is he worth it? He feels worth it. I feel lost without him I feel lonely without my lover.

"Dammit he's fucking worth it." I cried out in mental agony.

You just don't understand that he's worth my life. If I can't live with him I can't live without him. I have to have him.

Sleep was the only escape sleep was my only outlet sleep was the only thing that stopped the pain. But sleep wasn't my best friend.

I rocked my baby in my arms saying a prayer to keep me sane.

But even God was absent. Maybe I had ran out of chances in his eyes.