Writer's Block

Chapter 1: Who else but me?

On a night much like any other, I was walking on the streets heading back home when a light blinded me near asleep. Unforeseen… The mogu melon I had purchased is now spilled on the pavement next to my bleeding body. Darn, I just bought it from 7/11 too…. Pupils dilated, lungs punctured, legs numb, yet I couldn’t mistake the feeling of warmth covering my body.
All I could remember was your voice.
“Tessa…
Stay with me…
You’ll be alright, look at me…”
The handsome boy I saw adore worried helpless, desperately calling for rescue as few people stood by and watched. Your smell, the warmth of your hand, your face, your eyes, your lips, and every single matter within my domain. Strange I thought, am I too near death’s to be hallucinating to such extent?
Or am I?




6:00 AM, my alarm buzzes me awake, a few more minutes and my dad will call me for breakfast. It’s been a while since I cleaned up, my trash bin is piling up, It’s beginning to spell pungent. “Tessa, wake up!  You’ll be late again, what is up with you this week?”
“I’m coming”
In all honesty, my brain feels hay-wired every morning for a while now. Regardless, a cold shower always does the trick. I grabbed my blanket and headed for the kitchen for my morning coffee. A quick stir with my toothbrush and I get that burst of sugar on my taste buds, to the bathroom, Off I go.
“Is that your blanket?” (grabs breakfast)
“Yes, dad I know, I’ll be late” (locks the door)

Hair drying, face drying, body drying, and that breezy feeling of air touching my wet body. And yet, I feel no more refreshed.

Precisely, I apply an eye shadow guided by my reflection, lipsticks and blush on come after, and a touch of powder. This is my daily routine, not a step out of order. Although, is it just me or is my smile shorter? Kinda hurts my face but it doesn’t make sense, I shouldn’t feel pain now that I'm smiling shorter. I’ll have to ask Maxine later…

Upon my final preparations, I couldn’t help but look at the calendar hanging om the back of my door. March 18, 2024, my academy’s anniversary. A day that feels overly familiar, almost as if my body tires to live out this day. But a day with no classes, is a day worth unleashing my favorite outfit. Special day, peach day.
“Dad! Let’s Go!!” …




Shouting over the noise of the High way my father says “Where do I drop you off again”

“Dad we’re near the streets now, just wait a bit so you don’t have to shout”

“What?!” …

“Somewhere near the gate Dad. There! park over there.”

“Got it Got it.
You know, it’s really unhealthy of you to sleep super late, look how thinner you’ve gone”

“Yah yah yah, got it”

“Oh, my daughter, Tessa, It’s still my house, still my rules.”

“When you’re in engineering course, it’s a standard to stay up late.”

“Just like any other courses you mean.”

Side-stand down, turn key and pull, dismount the vehicle and helmet off. Pheeeeew! 15-minute ride. Taking a motorcycle with a styled hair is always disastrous, it ruins the whole get-up.

“Alright, I’ll see you later. Give me a call if you need me early, I’ll be at home.

“Thanks, Daaad” …




A few minutes after arriving at the campus, my friend calls out to me.

“Tess! Sorry sorry I slept late last night”

“No no I just got here too”

“Haha, where’s Luke?”

“Well, he replied that he’ll ‘take a shit’ . For real, what is up with guys spending an hour in the comfort room?!”

“LOL! then I guess we’ll head in first”

“Which stalls to hit first?”

“Well, I heard they have a dog show, why not there while waiting for your ‘baby’?”

“Shut up!!”

“Ow! Ok ‘daddy’ Ow! You really went harder on the second one too” …




Half an hour passes and I finally received a chat.

“At the gate, otw there”

“Wait for us at the arc, let’s take a pic” I replied back.

On the way to the arc signage, an alcohol beverage stall caught my eye and made me stop momentarily. Maxine did not notice and went ahead, but I was attracted by the booze. A few people were trying it out which prompted me to get closer, distracted, I collided to a passerby who dropped his notes. Amused, notes during festivities? This guy’s down right studious. Chuckling mildly, I picked up his notes and apologized.

“Sorry, I was distracted Haha, are those poetry?
Afterthought?
Ascent?
Eternal?”

“Ahhhh haha, you saw” he chuckled
“Yeah, yes they are”

“Maybe you’re acquainted with Maxine perhaps?”

“Who?”

“Maxine Alvarez, Campus Journal? The director and creator of the reigning short film competition ‘Magus Arcanum: Void Walker’?”

“Aha yeah nah I’m sorry, I’ll look into her…
A’ight”

“Oh Okay, sorry again”

“Tessa!! Come on, something came up?” Maxine frantically rushed towards me.

“Yeah, no Haha, I didn’t know booze were allowed to be sold in here, I got distracted and bumped into that guy with the denim shirt”

“Where??”

“Hi miss please try our chocolate mousse” a girl on the next stall offers

“The one with topped long sleeve denim”

“Yeah, no I can’t see him, then what happened?”

“He had poetry with him so I thought you knew each other”

A guy in the succeeding stall hollers “want to try our tang hulu miss?”

“I don’t particularly bond with others so easily. Plus, he may or may not be on the university team” Maxine responds…




“Tess”

“Luke! You’re late!!”

“OW! Haha, sorry, I couldn’t resist
taking a shit”

“---taking a shit. Yeah, Got that”

“Ahaha sorry, I’ll buy you some fries to make it up to you”

“Hmm!!”

“I roll my eyes but inside I’m ecstatic, gosh he’s as handsome as usual. Should I kiss him? I don’t know if that white shirt has some magic on it but boy does he look extra delicious today. The veins popping on his forearm, the slight sweating on his neck reflecting a bit of sunlight, his chest shaping out of his white shirt. And my favorite part, the bulg--- ah! Aw!--- on his black pants!! Tessa, I give up” she taps on my arm as she struggles to breath

“Listen here you little shit” I said to her while loosening my rear naked choke hold on her. You don’t get to fabricate my moment with your vulgar narration as the current narrative” I said as I finally released her.

“HAHAHA! That’s exactly what’s happening though”

Creative, as expected from the campus’ top journalist. But her periodic antics do be entertainingly annoying sometimes.




“...One, two, three…” the camera shutter clicks

“Thank you kuya!” she thanks the passerby who took our photo.

“You’ve lost some weight” he says with overly concerned eyes.

“Then I guess I should eat ‘til I’m full today” I replied playfully to take away his concern…


Watermelons, banana chips, halo-halo, mango shake, burgers, tang hulus, rice cakes etc. We ate all sorts of food we could.
Well, we had fun, we made most of the day. Uncertain of the havoc it may wreak upon our stomachs, yet we feasted upon most of the foods available on the stalls, satisfying our goal of making most out of the day.
There was also a singing and band competition, of which we bothered not to attend, we were having too much fun to spare attention to others after all.
Unnoticeably, the cold wind creeps in, sending shivers on my skin. And like a jolt of electricity, it hit me. “Come to think of it, the guy with the poems had no face.”

Away from the crowd, along the benches under the shade of the decade-old acacia tree, Maxine Alvarez lifts her head, eyes closed and utters “Oblivious from the torments transpiring within the realm, we find ourselves reveling at the moment. Truly, a mortal feat.”

Strange, I never thought a day could be this beautiful yet unpleasant. Desperate is how I’d describe my body, it’s as if it longs for freedom from a birdcage I cannot perceive. Strange, the words of my friend resonate deeply with my heart.

“Maxine the poet, truly among the gifted. But I wonder, your words, why does it feel so much relatable?”

“I don’t know Tess…
perhaps because you’re out here attaining genuine happiness and loving every bit of it, yet questioning yourself if it’s ok to take it, knowing that you have responsibilities to sustain.
Standing up as the parent for your siblings, is mighty admirable, a quality observed among few, but a quality which was never meant for any child.

Well, Tess, as your friend, I’m here to tell you that it’s ok. You always had the right to be happy, and you have always earned the right to have a momentary escape. After all these years sustaining your siblings, you have the right to smile,.. to live, regardless of your responsibilities. The responsibilities you took upon your shoulders, the day you killed your father.”

“Huh??”

“You see, during ninth grade, your father committed suicide after committing murder.”

“Wh-what? The fuck did you just say?? One of your narrations again? No, Nuh-Uh I don’t like it, change it, change it!!

“The investigators ruled it so because no evidence pointed to any other external and internal factor interfering with the actions of the deceased. After all, no one would suspect a victim of committing a crime, especially a child.
These past few days you lost a significant amount of body mass, coz no one was cooking for you while you’re in a trance”

“Maxine, you better shut your mouth, It’s not funny, I’m warning you.
Stop, Stop it!”

“Tess, your keys are hanging on your lace, so is your mio’s. Coz, you see, he wasn’t the one who drove you here”

“Wha- - Maxine… what are you... what are you getting at?

“Don’t just grab your keys whole Tess, check it if I’m saying the truth. Among them is your scooter’s key.”

“Stop, back away, you’re freaking me out now, you better stop now!!”

“Growing up with fear of men, you asked any willing relative to take in your siblings. Finding decent jobs here and there, and eventually reaching legal age, where you can now apply for better paying jobs to give money as support your remaining family. And as fate willed it, you met Luke, the only man to ever give you the sense of safety you were desperate for. To feel vulnerable at the hands of a man, without fear.
For the past five days you’ve been living alone at your house, just as you have for the past 2 years of college.
After all, to protect your two sisters and your brother... You killed your fa—”

“SHUT THE FUCK UUUUP!!!!
…
Luke... Luke... where’s Luke?”

“Reality disappoints those who thirst for the alternate outcome.
Give me your phone, Tess”

“Shut UUUP!! Stay where you are, you’re crazy, stay there.”

“Tess”

“No no no no no you stay there.”

“I can’t do it--- I’ve been… watching you like this for five days and I can’t--- keep…”

“Tears? What is this? Why are you-- What? Why did you say all those? Wha—Where’s Luke? Where’s Luke?!!”

“Please, give me your phone”

“No stay back, stay back”

“Let me prove it to you, let me show you something, just give it to me. Tess, give your phone to me”

“Maxine, No! Stay back!! Stay Back!! Luke!! Luke!!”

“Let me show you something!! Ah!!”

“ENOUGH!!!”

Shocked by fury reflected upon her eyes, Maxine sits on the pavement, speechless.

“Stay down! Stay there,.. There’s something wrong with you today, Max”
…
She turns around, walks...
faster...
then faster...
she now jogs, continuously accelerating...
Runs towards the exit!!…
















Exhausted. She pants as she struggles to walk, leaning on the wall as she approaches the center of their event.

“Why the hell am I so tired??” she says to herself.

Tired as she may, she continues to walk forward now entering the zone of the stalls. Wanting to go back home, she takes her phone out and dials her father’s number.
---
Except,
It wasn’t her father’s voice that she heard.

“Sorry, the number you have dialed is disconnected or is no longer in service”

“Strange” she thought as she now stands frozen on her tracks.
“Strange”.

Her eyes dilated, heart pounds louder, as the words of her friend sends shivers down her spine.

“No, it’s probably just the signal, wait I’ll try again”
---
“Sorry, the number you have dialed is disconnected or is no longer in service”.

“It’s just the signal, wait I’ll text him instead”

Text, to message that is, in other words she has to exit the current application to open another one, making her stumble upon the home page during the process. Which only added more confusion to her mind, staring blankly at her phone, she is now nearing her breaking point.

“When did I - - I did, right?”

Did she now? Did she set their newly taken picture as the wallpaper?
But it doesn’t end there. Curious and intrigued she opens her gallery and scans. Scroll, scroll back, scroll back once more and scroll back again. Over a hundred photos of today’s event, except only she wore the exact same repeated outfit.

“What the fuck? Is this real? No, no way, it can’t be. Am I the one, going crazy?”

But it doesn’t end there, having the latest advanced features, her gallery segments the photos by date, and guess what? The latest photo they took under the arc signage says--

“March 22? Fuck, what the fuck? No, It’s Monday, It’s March 18. No this isn’t real, this isn’t real. What the fuck.” She says as her voice cracks and panic makes its way in. Her arms began trembling and her knees felt weak.

Confused is an understatement, her emotions began mixing in...
Exiting to the homepage to make certain of what she saw, but she ends up disappointing herself.
‘3:39 PM
Friday, March 22 Partly Cloudy 35°C’

She’s caving in. One more, one more push and she’ll fall under. Eyes fixed on her phone, her legs felt shaky, she had to take her right foot back. Heart skipping a beat, her breathing becomes more labored. Left foot, right foot back, nearly out balanced she drops her phone…
She bends, revealing the majestic curvature of her body, an insane view to behold. Mindlessly reaching for her phone, she stretches her arms, and along falls over her hair. But what snapped her back into thinking, is the I.D. lace hanging over on her neck as she bends forward. Disregarding the phone, she stands back up grabbing her keys. Lifting it up, slowly she opens her closed fist.

“Lu—Luke… where are you love? I need you?” her futile call as sees the motorcycle keys among the rest of her keys.

Crying, sobbing, her tears fall on hand... Only to realize
“Shit, I’m crying out in the open. I shouldn’t…
Wait, how come I’m not hearing any noise?”

But no other person could give a shit. As she lies at the center of the array of stalls. She lifts her head and in pure horror shocked by the silence and Oh YES.
Absolute emptiness. Not single damn human being around.

Scared. Afraid. Horrified. Shocked. Terrified. Anxious. Frightened. Terrorized. Unnerved. Spooked. Struck.
Looking around she finds not a single soul, hears not a single noise but the wind rolling over an insignificant leaf!! She finally caves in. Except…
Interesting, what could stop her from falling over into insanity?

“Who’s there?”

She looks left and right, ‘round and 'round

“Who are you? Where are you?”

Whom does she search for? Could it be Luke the legendary bad boy?
But it cannot be since he went off who knows where.

“What? What about Luke?

Backfire.
Due to the extreme stress her mind has undergone, she became desperate to live on instinct, awakening a part of her abilities”

“Who’s speaking? Where are you?”

As she regains part of her strength, she regains cognitive function over herself, and in turn, a fraction of her memories. She became aware of the writer...
hahahahahaha Damn
~|÷'=✓¢}∆%€≠¢[ѰѭџѴѼѾѰ±ѨѥѦѝяљὩѥя©ѝѝ©ὩѾҚѭҼҍҖҩҩҨҫҘҊѨWell, you never once disappointed me.”

“Huh!!”

“Behind you, Sally…

Hello there”

“--- who? —The fuck, are you?”

“Who? AHAHAHAHHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA...
Bitch, please.
Who else, but me?”

“The guy with no face”

“So, how does it feel?
Dancing on my palm?
To live your life
On A Loop”