The real Red Riding Hood and other fairy tales

Red Riding Hood

INTRO

Ever thought what really happened to all of those characters in the fairy tales you were told as a child.

Did you ever realise that these were the fluffy romantic versions and not what really happened,? I did, then I discovered a thin old leather bound volume in a second hand book shop that re affirmed my suspicians. The pages were rether yellow and delicate, unfortunately they crumbled to the touch. So with the wonder of Wattpad I have re scribed the contents in to electronic format for all to read. So my dear reader if you do not want those fluffy romantic images of childhood shattered stop here..........if you do read on.............

                                                                                  Chapter 1

                           Meet Red Riding Hood   ( and naughty Mr Wolf )

 Once upon a time, a long time ago, in the land of fairytales  there lived a pretty little girl who went  by the name of Red Riding Hood. She was a sweet innocent little teenage girl of 18. As pure as the virgin white snow that lay upon the mountain tops far above the pretty valley where she lived. Where ever she went the local people admired her pretty looks and virtuous nature. This caused the local weasels no end of distress as they could find no way what so ever to break through her magical protective barrier of innocence. Certain villagers would eye Red Riding Hood with feelings of lust and desire, especially Mr Wolf from the local costume shop.

 Each day Little Red Riding Hood would go to the local market to buy goods for her grandma who lived in a little cottage in the nearby woods. Her grandma was very ill, she suffered from paranoid schizophrenia and delusions of beauty even though she was a well worn woman in mid her 70’s. Her psycho analyst had put this down to an inherent jealously since Riding Hood had hit her teens and started blossoming in to the young woman she was today.

 On this particular day Mr Wolf sat in his usual place on the rickety stool just inside the door of  his shop. This gave him an optimum vantage point where he could see all around the Market square but no one could see him. 

( Naughty Mr Wolf had cunningly rigged up a speaker system that ran round the edge of the square.  He would whistle and make lewd remarks at the local ladies. This caused the townsfolk  to blame all the other nice businessmen as it never came from near his shop. In fact local folk thought him to be the only polite and gentlemanly shopkeeper in the square.)

All at once Mr Wolf spied Little Red Riding Hood on her rounds, skipping and singing from one stall to the next, gaily picking up artefacts and studying them for suitability to purchase for grandma, she did not want to purchase anything grandma could injure herself on or at worse cause a mortal laceration .

Riding Hood was totally engrossed in her task, not taking any notice of the naughty weasels that had gathered round her. Alas! she did not understand any of the remarks they made toward her, in fact she always thought they were paying compliment to various parts of her anatomy. Red Riding Hood put the hub bub around her to the back of her mind as she rummaged through the wonderful and unusual artefacts on Al’s Army Surplus Stall. Then all at once she noticed a change in the level of the Weasel’s squealing banter, they then quickly dispersed.

 “ Must have run out of compliments “ she thought to herself

 “ Why what a lovely pair of bazooka’s you have there “ a deep husky voice said from behind her. Little Red Riding Hood spun round in surprise and gave a big sigh of relief, why, it was only kind Mr Wolf.

 “ Oh thank kind sir” she replied with an involuntarily fluttering of  her eyelashes “ They are for my grandma, she is old and frail and I wouldn’t like to think she was defenceless at her age so I have bought them for her as a nice surprise.