The Last Virgin Standing

Bonus: Luke

Sorry this is super dialogue heavy, but it's Luke and Charlotte before, you know, the accident.

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"I don't want to do this," I said. "Can't I just take medicine for it or something?"

"I'm no doctor, Charlie, but I think it's too late for that. You have to take it out."

"But I'm not supposed to have surgery until I'm at least twenty," I wailed. "What does your appendix even do anyway?"

He shrugged. "Want me to Google it?"

"If I need an appendix, can I have yours?"

"What if I need it!? There's no point in both of us going through surgery."

"I'm scared, Luke."

He picked up one of the chairs and brought it closer to me. "I'll be here when you go in, and I'll most likely be here when you get out."

"Gee, thanks. What a pal."

"Hey! I don't know how long this will be! I have homework to do."

I scoffed. "When do you ever do homework?"

"I do homework whenever you have surgery."

"I've never had surgery before."

Luke clapped his hands together. "Well, there's a first for everything! Lookin' good in that hospital gown, by the way."

"Oh, shut up."

"I heard the food is excellent here. Save me some?"

"Maybe. Maybe not."

He leaned back. "Then I'm not getting you anything from the hospital gift shop."

"Why would I want anything from there?

"It was a nice gesture!"

Dad walked in and said, "You have an hour before you go in. How're you feeling, kiddo?"

"I'm all right. I'm more nervous than anything else. I can't picture anyone cutting me open."

"You'll be fine," he assured me. "You'll be knocked out and won't feel a thing. I wouldn't let them dissect you like a little frog."

"Thanks for that, Dad."

"That's what I'm here for. Now get a little closer together so I can take a picture. This one's going in the history books."

"Are you serious?"

"I don't joke about pictures, missy."

Luke leaned in closer to me and smiled. I tried to be as happy as I could knowing that sharp objects would be inserted in my flesh and that my grandchildren would see me in a hideous hospital gown. Of course, I'd probably be in one at that age anyways.

Dad snapped a couple and mumbled to himself. "I wonder if there's a sticker for hospital visits..."

He was trying hard to document my life in scrapbooks, but he didn't have the eye to put together visually appealing layouts. He had a couple of pages done, but not nearly as much as he should considering how often he talked about doing it. When it came time to putting everything together, his motivation suddenly disappeared, and since I would feel guilty about him spending all of that money, I would end up finishing his projects. I couldn't complain, though. They were for me.

"Want any dinner, Luke? I'm going to make a dinner run now. I don't want to leave while she's in surgery in case something goes wrong."

"Seriously?" I said. "Can we not talk about that?"

"Chicken nuggets are cool with me," Luke said.

"Would you like fries with that?" Dad asked.

Luke grinned. "You're so good at that. You should work at McDonald's. I bet you'd get Employee of the Month."

"I think I'll pass on that. Don't strain yourself too much, honey."

I said, "I wont."

When Dad left, Luke suggested that we play Monopoly. "Do you even have it with you?" I asked.

"It's in my car."

"Why?"

"Emergencies."

"What emergency could you possible have that would require you to have Monoply in your car?"

"An appendix-related emergency."

"You heard my dad. There's no way we could finish a game in under an hour."

"So we'll continue it afterwards."

"No way! You'll cheat, and I might not remember anything."

"Would you relax? You're having your useless appendix removed."

"How do you know that it's useless?"

"I told you I'd Google it. Anyways, it's not like you're having brain surgery."

"Can we just talk instead?"

Luke faked a yawn. "Bo-oring. Let's go play pranks on some of the other patients."

"Please tell me you're joking."

"Of course!"

"Somehow I find that hard to believe." His fake yawn made me real yawn. "I'm sort of tired. Is it wrong if I take a nap?"

He shook his head. "Nope. I'll join you. Scoot over."

"No way! You can pull up the other chair and make a cute, little trundle bed."

"Nighty night, Charlie."

"Nighty night, Luke."

Luke was there when I woke up the first time, and he was there when I woke up for the second.