Stop. And Go

XI • (Something Like That) •

:::

Effortless banter reduced to timid smalltalk as they approached the apartment—shooting one another apprehensive smiles and awkwardly soft laughs whenever one caught the other's eye.

Slinking out of his jacket, Julian kicked off his shoes, "I'm gonna jump in the shower real quick, so just... make yourself at home."

"Wait- where's that book you stole?" Madeline asked.

She'd been itching to get her hands on it ever since Julian unveiled to her that he had it.

It was a relic. An ancient artifact filled with disgraceful treasures and enigmatic secrets. It was her history book.

...and some of Julian's too.

"Same spot—plastic bin on the bookcase. It should be the one up top on the right- I'll just go get it."

As Julian started down the hall, Madeline took herself to the fridge.

It was stocked full of various beers, ranging from high end to low end in quality. The high end drinks were far more scarce, so she decided on something from the lower end—Stella Artois.

"Don't tell me you still do that shit," Julian cringed as Madeline pried off the bottle top with her mouth. "One of these days, woman... you're gonna break your teeth."

Her little party trick had never seemed to bother Julian in the past; his reaction caused her to laugh as she reached for the old scrapbook.

She started to open the tattered memories, but felt his eyes on her. Peering up at him through her lashes, Madeline stared back with questioning eyes.

He cleared his throat, "Need anything else?" Madeline shook her head as he nodded. She kept her eyes on him until he was no longer in sight.

She began to wonder if  she were only imagining his strange behavior. Stopping herself from thinking too much about the briefly awkward exchange, she made her way to his bedroom.

Leaving open the door, she sat on the bed, gulping several drinks before setting the beer at her feet.

Opening the front cover, the first page revealed a frowned-smile of a young girl with a shaggy lob tucked behind her ears.

It was a school picture from the seventh grade, from when Madeline was just thirteen. Beneath the photo read the caption: "Welcome to Hell"

Inside the folded interior of the construction paper with an overdramatic title, was a hidden note to herself.

"13– Welcome to Hell:
"This is the year you'll have your first period.
The year you leave Connecticut and move to New York.
Your parents lied to you.
They told you it was an exciting place filled with exciting things to do.
You'll soon learn "the city that never sleeps," just means a bunch of angry people stacked on top of each other that wanna fight all the time because of it.
It's crowded and smells weird, but whatever.
At least dad's new job pays well and mom doesn't seem to drink as much anymore."

The next several pages were filled up with pictures of a thirteen year old Madeline, along with little quotes and comments highlighting her first official year as a teenager.

She'd made a hidden compartment behind miscellaneous designs—reminders and little notes to herself about the past and hopes of the future.

It was for that particular reason, she didn't want Julian having possession of it.