What I've Seen, What I've Given

Wednesday, 15th of May, 2024.

          Testing testing, is this working? Good good... An account of what I've experienced... Interesting, I'm not used to writing as such, but yet here am I. There's quite a lot to recount, so bear with me if anything sounds odd, or choppy, or inconsistent, I'm doing my best. Let's begin.

          So, it started yesterday, 14th of May. I was on Instagram, and I decided to update my status/note (If you use it, you'd know what I mean). It wasn't much, I put the following phrase "I miss her." I didn't think people would've cared to look at it, to even glimpse. After all, usually don't notice those, why would anyone?

          Yet lo' and behold, AN did. She asked me about it, questioning if I was alright. I responded with an "I don't know," because I really didn't. I haven't told anyone about how I've been feeling lately, and I decided... You know, maybe I should trust her. She trusted me after all, so why shouldn't I? So I went on a 2 hour trip, telling her about my story with a specific someone, whom we will call AD, that I met 3 years ago. It was quite a pleasant conversation. I promised to show AN one of the letters that I've written to AD on the following day, which is today. Though one point I remember is that she said she'll cry if I do, and this came in handy, continue reading.

          So, today came. I'll skip straight to the important part, everything else in the day wasn't as important. 13:30, afternoon, during art class. I worked a bit on the piece that I have yet to complete... It's so bizzare, 5 months in and yet I'm not done. Whatever, unrelated information. So, AN and SY entered the class and sat down on the mat, as they usually did.

          I recall AN saying she wanted to cry for her piece as a reference image. I found it a bit odd, but didn't really bother her about it. It's all about expressing creativity, and to cry for a piece? Doesn't sound like a bad idea. So, I showed her the letter that I wrote to AD, and she read through it, with sombre music playing in her ears, I can only assume.

          It was also quite odd, I said to myself that I would hangout less with AN, SY and all the others so I could focus on my prep, yet here I am, sat down, waiting for a response. Anyways, it didn't take long before AN started tearing up. I didn't understand at first, what was there to cry over about my letter? Here actually, take a look yourself.

          Actually on second thought, no. Originally, AD and I wrote letters to each other as a secret, so that we could entertain each other with our silly words, and so we wouldn't forget or lose connection with one another. I find it more... Interesting? Yeah, interesting than texting. Maybe because we made out own code to write in, but who knows? The letter that I showed AN, it was one of my most recent ones. In fact, it was the first one I wrote since March, when AD and I just... Stopped writing. It was soothing.

          Although I say that, I'll briefly summarise what I wrote in the letter. I complained to her, wishing she'd just be here with me, as I was going through a tough time dealing with some ridiculous people. I got angry at those people, and I miss AD, since she would be the one always to comfort me. I miss her, that's why that was my status/note. I ended with a strong end, telling her that this may be hard to deal with, but we both must stay strong for God, because he puts us through tough times to strengthen us, and so we may come out glorifying His name for delivering us from pain. And whether you believe in my God my Lord, I urge you to stay strong as well, through tough times.

          Back to the proper "timeline", AN was tearing up over the letter after reading it. I assume she remembered her objective and took a quick snap of her face. Without context, it would've been an incredibly odd thing to do, wouldn't you agree? Whatever. Here's where things start to get fuzzy, cause a lot happened. Anyways, I passed the phone to SY, to have her read it as well. I would've never thought the letters that I wrote would be so emotional to other people, since SY also actually started tearing up.