Life After Near Death

The First to Know

"So what if I have?" he snapped defensively. Lyon arched an eyebrow. "S-sorry. It's still weird for me, okay? Hey, um, have you ever heard of demisexual?"

"Someone who doesn't experience sexual attraction unless they first form an emotional bond with the other person. That's not really you. You find ladies attractive and sleep with them at random. Demiromantic, maybe."

"And that is?" he asked.

"You only fall romantically in love after getting to know a person on a deep emotional level. It explains why you've never fallen in love before now. You never let your girlfriends get close enough to you."

Gray rubbed his chin as he thought about it. "And when I would date friends, I never wanted sex. I knew in my heart that I wasn't in love and didn't want to hurt them. So why would I want sex with Natsu when I've never liked guys before in my life?"

"Easy," Lyon shrugged. "You fell romantically in love first."

"But still, I'm not really attracted to Natsu. That's what worries me," Gray confessed. "You're supposed to see someone you like and think they're sexy, right?"

"Not necessarily. If that was true, many men would never get laid."

"I always have," Gray insisted.

"No, you've only fucked women who you found to be attractive."

"I guess you have a point," he conceded. "Still, I look at him and I don't think he has a hot body, sexy abs, or pretty hair. I'm not attracted that way. I've never looked at any men and thought they were sexy."

Lyon reached up to a fruit hanging from the pergola vines and pluck it off. "Love is often strongest when it's not based purely on physical appearance."

Gray grumbled to the side, "Says the man who fell for Juvia at first sight."

Lyon ignored his remark and continued to turn the fruit around in his hands. "Your romantic attraction bypassed your up-to-now heterosexual attractions. You could say you fell in love with his brains and not his body."

"Natsu has ash for brains," Gray said immediately, almost as an instinct. He fell silent, feeling slightly guilty for insulting Natsu, although it was something he had done since the first day they met. "Does ... does this make me ... I dunno ... bisexual or something?"

"Bi-curious, maybe. You're still not sure, right?"

"I ... I think ... well, I love him. Maybe. Pretty sure."

Lyon chuckled at how indecisive he still sounded. "Try it out. You may be bisexual even though you don't find men to be sexually attractive. That could be why you never fell in love with a man before now. Your demiromantic side prevented you from feeling that attraction, since you would have to fall in love with a man emotionally before you felt attraction sexually. As you fall deeper in love, perhaps you'll also find Natsu to be attractive. If not, there's nothing wrong with that."

"I don't want him to feel insulted though," Gray insisted. "What if he asks if he looks pretty in a new shirt?"

Lyon arched an eyebrow. "I don't think men ask those sorts of questions."

"He might!" Gray shouted. "How can I be his boyfriend if I don't actually find him attractive?" He yanked at his hair with a low groan. "Seriously, it should not be this confusing!"

Lyon bit into the fruit. "Attraction for you seems to be a real gray area, nothing black and white. Since Natsu is your first love, it's hard to say what you are, so stop trying to label everything. You love him, he loves you, leave it at that for now and see where things go."

"But what if I fuck it all up?" Gray whispered, glaring down at the stone path. "I don't want to mess things up with him."

Lyon glanced sideways at him with a proud smile. "That alone says a lot about your feelings, doesn't it?"

Gray realized he had a point. He was over-thinking everything because he really wanted this to work. That showed how deeply he felt for Natsu.

Lyon took another bite and looked at the juice dripping from the fruit. "Love is complex; no single thing triggers it. Appearances, attitudes, acts of kindness. Sometimes we can't pinpoint what did it, or when it happened. Gradually over time, it's a culmination of everything about them that does it, and all those elements compact together like snowflakes rolled into a snowball. They grow until the snowball becomes a boulder, and over time they grow stronger, deeper, more powerful, until you're smacked with the avalanche-like realization that you're in love."

Gray smiled passively. Lyon always knew how to phrase things in a way he understood.

"Thanks. So you don't think I'm losing my mind, right?"

"I think you lost it back when we were kids," Lyon smirked playfully. "As for this matter, you're different from average people, but you should be used to that, considering you're a pupil of Ur."

"That's true. You're missing your shirt, idiot."

"I'm wondering where the hell your pants went, pervert."

Gray looked down. "Crap! When did that happen?" He saw the trousers along the path they had walked, but he did not recall removing them. "Thanks, Lyon. Really. I wanted to make sure it wasn't a stupid idea."

Lyon glared at him. "If I said it was, would that convince you not to ask him out?"

Gray thought seriously about it. "Probably not."

"Good! If you said yes, I'd tell you to forget it. If what your friends say can affect your heart that easily, you don't deserve that person at all. If every person in the world goes against you, and you still stay firm to your heart, then you really are in love. You're here talking to me because you're a coward and don't have the balls to talk to him."

"Hey!" Gray shouted. "I am not a coward. I just thought I'd tell my brother first. I wanted you to be the first to know."

"Idiot! Tell me after it's official. You don't need my blessing." He folded his arms and looked away stubbornly. "I'm not Natsu's future mother-in-law. Sheesh!"

Gray smirked teasingly. "No, but you could be his future brother-in-law."

Lyon felt a shiver tingle his arms. "That's a harrowing thought!"

Gray laughed and raised to his feet. "Thanks again. I'm actually really relieved that you approve."

"Who says I do?" stated Lyon. "I think he's an idiot, and I think you need to be careful that you don't get burned. Still, if he makes you this stupidly happy, then who am I to say if it's a good or bad idea? It's what you both want, and that's all that matters in the end. So get the hell out of here and tell that guy how you feel."

Gray nodded, and he left back the way he came, picking up his clothes as he left.

"That asshole," Lyon sighed. "I've never seen him this messed up over someone. It really must be love. Lucky bastard. And that means," Lyon grinned to himself, "Juvia is totally free!"