Kiss & Blog

10. Awkward

© AJD 2013 All Rights Reserved

{I know I've been super messy w my updates... my bad. Excuse the mistakes... I haven't proofread yet. Might rewrite/ delete some parts... Haven't decided -abi}

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T E N: Awkward

"Kathryn?" the voice called out again. "What are you doing here?"

Kathryn wanted to curl up into a ball and then swallow herself whole. She was not in the right state of mind to handle any sort of small talk with a minor acquaintance. She was lost and confused and being caught mid-panic to engage in common conversation with someone she hardly knew was not helping her calm down.

"Huh?" she spun around, still mildly confused.

The girl seemed to analyze her before she put on a knowing smile. "I knew it was you!" she jumped. "I didn't recognize you at first without your glasses but I was right!"

Kathryn blinked at her while trying to keep her panic from bubbling over the limit she could handle. I don't want to talk to you! I don't have time to talk to you! Kathryn wanted to say. But instead she managed a feeble, "Oh... Hey."

The girl noticed Kathryn's unwavering confused expression. "It's me, Angel," she reminded. "Biology... Same class for 3 years." The way she said it made it sound like more of a question rather than a fact.

"Yes, I remember." She didn't. Not entirely. Her memory was a bit fuzzy when it came to her classmates. Kathryn only really spoke to them for a short while before most of them grew distant and became acquaintances on a strict talk-only-when-needed basis.

Angel probably noticed the unevenness in Kathryn's voice. "Are you okay?"

She didn't know why Angel was talking to her. Maybe it was the change of wardrobe or the lack of glasses that suddenly made her think that Kathryn was approachable enough to hold a conversation without feeling incredibly uncomfortable but she was dead wrong.

"I-I'm not..." she stuttered.

Kathryn wanted to tell her to go away. She couldn't balance her attention between small talk and finding a good breathing pace and if she didn't get to her gate in 30 minutes there was an off chance she'd miss her flight.

It was a miracle she'd managed to hold off her breakdown in front of her family, otherwise they surely wouldn't have let her go. But now, on her own, the panic had only multiplied tenfold.

"I'm totally lost," Kathryn exhaled, giving up. If it took losing barely a smidge of her pride to get to where she needed to be in order for her to untie the knot that had formed in the pit of her stomach, she was all for it.

Angel cocked her head slightly. "Oh," she shrugged. "Maybe I can help?"

Kathryn smiled apologetically, embarassed.

There was a difference between asking for help from a stranger and asking for help from an acquaintance. Asking help from a stranger is harmless. If you had asked the question awkwardly or if they had given you the wrong directions, it wouldn't have mattered because the chances of seeing that person, and vice versa, were too slim. But ask an acquaintance and they'll be able to hold your awkwardness for as long as they know you. Never mind the awkwardness that would entail if they'd managed to offer you the wrong advice or give you the wrong directions. Kathryn had these thoughts down to a science.