eunoia [kpop oneshots]

13. h.hj x l.jy (xdinaryheroes)

title: why?
ship: jooyeon x junhan
chapter length: slightly longer than short

fluff, slight angst, omg i love junhan and jooyeon tgt like they're so cute lmao i missed writing too.. i havent writen in a while! obv havent updated eunoia in a while lolol stream troubleshooting album!

Lately, Junhan noticed something.

He noticed that whenever this certain member is around him him, he'd get a little quiet and less... cheery. In the group, when Jooyeon is placed next to him during their whole friend group activities, Hyeongjun pays close attention to how Jooyeon acts. Jooyeon avoids his eye contact sometimes, he stutters more, and talks less to him.

Jooyeon always seems to avoid Junhan.

It was troubling to Junhan and he was extremely uneasy and worried. When at home, he'd gnaw at his lip, thinking about the possibilities of Jooyeon. Why?

Why was he so much quieter with him and so normal and... showy of himself with the other members? Clingy and chatty to Jiseok, chatty with the others too, although Junhan was a little more jealous of his behavior with Jiseok. Junhan was pretty sure that something changed because back at debut days everything was fine. It was up until Freakin' Bad era. That's when it started. It had been a while since that started yet Junhan couldn't ever bring it up to him. Afraid of rejection and risking even more of worsening their relationship.

It was already bad that he'd caught feelings for the younger and he thought of the consequences already. If Jooyeon didnt like him back and rejects him, it'd be awkward to be in the same group as him. That thought was poison for Junhan's mind. Its poisonous vines grabbing hold and wrapping itself around Junhan's feelings, tainting him with pain and fear like its thorns pricking him little by little. Rejection was a scary thing.

More importantly, he's afraid that Jooyeon acts that way because he's begun to hate Junhan.

Junhan shivers, and his heart always drops at that thought, sinking to his stomach, maybe even a bottomless pit.

Another one of his thoughts is that perhaps Jooyeon hates him, but he also likes Jiseok.

Junhan tries his best not to let his feelings affect his relationship with his other band members, and he keeps it all in well, making sure these don't slip out to trouble Jiseok.

He's scared.

He may even be terrified that Jooyeon is taken by Jiseok and in love with him. Yes, he's seen his actions and closeness with others. They match each other's energy so well! A couple of happiness and energy. Junhan watches from afar across the room, staring enviously at the two, wondering if that could ever be him in Jiseok's spot.

He scoffs painfully. How could that ever be him if Jooyeon acts like he hates him? He was completely 100% sure that Jooyeon hates him and he's too worried and scared about it.

All he can do is sit and stare at him with shiny eyes and smile, leaving a bitter taste in his mouth.

--- ☆

Jooyeon is a coward. It was so painfully obvious that his love for Junhan was affecting his daily life.

See, he can NOT focus with Junhan around. He can stutter, avoid his gaze, his hands getting a bit clammy, and he does admit that he does get a bit nervous around him, sometimes running away.

The way Junhan was so cool playing his guitar solos in their songs, his cute bunny-like appearance, his bright smile and his cute eyes when he smiles... Jooyeon can and will go on listing these reasons why he loves Hyeongjun. He's so soft looking. So cute and soft like a bunny plushie that he wants all to himself to cuddle and pet. He loved his little giggles too. And, how Hyeongjun makes himself appear cool and edgier, going along with their rock band concept and really fitting in; with his longer black hair and black painted nails. He loved all sides of him- cute and cool. He can never understand how he hadn't fallen in love with him sooner.