The Searching Game

Chapter 1

  "It's about time, in my opinion. I just can't help but think my family wouldn't know who I am if they saw me now."

  "Well, the tats and haircut might be a surprise, but that's probably it. From what you've told me you still have the same sense of humor, even if you are being a bit more serious now." I nodded and thought about what she said for a moment. We continued talking again a minute later and kept on like that until she was finished and wrapping up my arm. I walked up to the mirror and pulled my collar aside to see the full tattoos that now completely covered from my collar bone to my knuckles. The pain was beyond worth it. It honestly kept me more sane with my regular needle appointments. "I almost want to cry now that we are done, but hopefully you'll be in again soon." I hugged Jules and gave her a large cash tip before going up to the front and paying for the work she did today. I grabbed Ellie and we started toward her car.

  "The tattoos are done, now how are we ending our night?" she asked as we slipped into the car.

"I want to chill and let my arm rest before work tomorrow. How about movies and popcorn?" Ellie started her car and prepared to drive off as she answered me.

"Perfect, you make the popcorn and I'll pick the movies. I'm thinking... Friends With Benefits?" I looked over to her to catch her hiding a smirk.

"Funny movie, bad idea though." That changed her expression.

"What do you mean by that?"

"I mean I've seen the movie and it's good, buuuut I've had friends with benefits and I will never be doing that shit again. It makes life so complicated, same with dating in general. Lone wolf city for me," I laughed and jokingly howled to make Ellie smile, but it quickly turned to a frown right after.

"Maybe you aren't meant to be a lone wolf, though. You've been in a new state and city surrounded by strangers for a while now. Someone just might be the right one to change your feelings." I wanted to roll my eyes at her obvious nudge to get me to be with people again.

"Nah, I prefer my future of solitude." Ellie huffed at that.

"What if you were with someone just physically? What harm would there be in that?" We pulled into the parking garage for our building then walked to our apartment. In reaching our floor and entering our home, I finally decided to answer.

"I know I'm not in a relationship whatsoever anymore, but being with someone else in any capacity still feels like cheating." Ellie groaned as she went to the living room to turn on the tv. I actually rolled my eyes now, but headed to the kitchen. When I finished making popcorn, I walked over and plopped on the couch next to Ellie. I saw the title screen for Mean Girls and grinned. "Now this is an awesome pick for the night, I love this movie." This seemed to satisfy my friend so she hit play and we began taking turns reaching into the popcorn. When we got to the auditorium scene where they make their apologies, we both happened to reach in at the same time. Ellie, being herself, took this cliché moment as a sign to pause the movie.

"Zoey, I need to ask you a serious question," she started. I felt dread build in my stomach as my anxiety kicked in. "You always say how you are meant to be alone or that your goal is to die young and by yourself. One high school relationship gone bad doesn't constitute this way of thinking and feeling. You are nineteen, we have so much life to live and you should be experiencing everything! What do I have to do to show you there is more out there that you aren't taking?" I sat dumbfounded as she moved a little closer to me.

"Ellie, I literally do not want anyone unless they are her. I'm still in love," I told her truthfully. Her brow furrowed at that and she moved the popcorn to our coffee table to scoot as close as she could get without physically touching.