After attempting suicide more than 10 times, my mother took me to spend some time at her house. I felt more free and welcomed there. But the hell in my head wouldn't stop. I was obsessed with the idea of death.
I didn't want to be alive, to stay alive. It didn't make sense to me. Everyone around me was worried. They were afraid of losing me, and I was afraid of losing them. But I wanted something, I wanted someone, and that someone was him.
I contacted him many times and made my feelings even clearer, but then I realized that it really didn't matter to him. He didn't love me the way I loved him. He didn't want me the way I wanted him.
It took a while, but then I woke up. At the end of November 2022, I sent him the last message, deciding not to bother him anymore.
Time passed, many things changed. I went back to my sister's house. I experienced new things with her and we had moments of great joy. But then, my pain returned. I had gotten a new job, but I couldn't bear living with all that anguish.
Lost, I ended up attempting suicide once again, and that was like a turning point. Everyone rebelled against me and told me without mincing words that it was all nonsense and foolishness.
My sister kicked me out of her house and cut off all access I had to my nephew. Even after I had helped her with many things and shown a lot of love. My friend left, didn't want anything to do with me anymore, my older sister gave up on me, and overnight, we all became enemies. So, I left.
ŞİMDİ OKUDUĞUN
Flaws - Experience
SpiritüelIn the midst of the darkness of a devastating depression caused by the conflict with his homosexual identity, 23-year-old John recounts how abandonment and rejection nearly led him to the brink of death. However, after a transcendent experience with...
