Flaws - Experience

FLAWS - 03

In that time, I got a new job and many things happened. I started living alone and having my own life, but it wasn't easy.

But now I had friends. Well, one more friend. So, after he left, it was just us three and it really seemed like it was enough. But no, it wasn't. I loved him so much that I couldn't go a day without imagining what it was like to be his, to be in his arms.

I would never have him for myself, so it was harder than I thought. So why live? Why would I bother to be okay if I couldn't have him? Then the day came. It was October 23, 2022. After two years with overwhelming passion trapped inside my heart, I reacted.

I went to the pharmacy and bought some pills. When I got home, I sat on my bed and, crying a lot, I thought about many things. What would people's lives be like without me? What would the people who loved me feel?

But the pain was stronger than me, and I decided it was time to stop everything, all that unbearable pain. I took 16 pills in total and, thinking about lying down and waiting for it to happen, I decided to go to work. So, even in such a difficult situation, I went.

Arriving at work, I experienced one of the greatest anguishes of my life. I didn't know what to do, what to say. So I told a coworker: I took 16 pills. From then on, everything happened much faster, and suddenly, I was being treated at an emergency room.

My family received the news, and everyone came immediately to find out what had happened, and then, already at home, recovering, I said: I fell in love with him. At first, everyone reacted well. There was no problem.

But as time passed, the revolt began. No one understood me anymore. No one believed that I was in pain and that my situation was really difficult. I heard absurd things that I don't even want to repeat. I just know that when I thought I had friends, I didn't. But I had God left, only God.