Blurred Lines

Chapter 8 - Bigger Than the Whole Sky

**TRIGGER WARNING** Discussion of miscarriage.

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No words appear before me in the aftermath

Salt streams out my eyes and into my ears

Every single thing I touch becomes sick with sadness

'Cause it's all over now

All out to sea

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September 2, 1992

Salem University Hospital

John threw open the door to Marlena's room so fast, it hit the wall with a dull thud, bouncing off of the rubber stopper behind it. Alice turned as the shaft of light in the hallway shone across the floor into the darkened space. She put her finger to her lips to quiet him, and he realized Marlena was asleep. Alice had called him just after 3 am to let him know that Marlena was regaining consciousness. He'd pulled on a sweatshirt and a pair of sweatpants with his joggers, barely stopping to kiss Isabella. He was out of the house in less than seven minutes, with little time to ponder the devastation on his wife's face.

His eyes were wide when he asked Alice in a rough voice, "Did she?"

Alice stood up slowly, motioning for John to follow her as she walked out into the hallway. He followed silently, pulling the door closed behind him. Alice placed a calming hand on his arm, "She did wake up, and Tom was by to check on her. She's incredibly tired, even though she's been asleep for nearly three weeks. She was also in a lot of pain, you remember that she had quite a large incision from her surgery. She didn't realize and in her haste to sit up, it strained. So, she was given some pain medicine."

"But she spoke?" he asked excitedly. "She recognized you, and she was cognizant?"

"Well, she was... cognizant, but it's complicated. I think it would be best if you spoke with Tom," Alice hedged.

John glanced towards Marlena's hospital room, staring through the window into her room,  "What aren't you telling me, Alice?"

"She has amnesia. Not in the sense that she's forgotten everything, mind you, but... she's confused, and some of her information is... jumbled." Alice's voice trailed off, because she didn't really know what else to say. Tom would be able to better explain what was going on.

John pushed his fingers through his hair as he whispered loudly, "She's confused? What, exactly, is she confused about?"

A relieved sigh escaped her, when Tom rounded the corner. "Oh, Tom, dear!" she called. "John's here, and maybe you could explain what's happening with Marlena better than me."

Tom walked over, and John thought about how much he'd seemed to age over the last five years. He was slowing down. So was Alice, but both of them were still alert. "Hello, John... I'm glad you're here." Shaking his hand, Tom told him, "We think Marlena has amnesia, but it's not complete amnesia. We knew there was a possibility of this happening due to the traumatic nature of her injuries, and the loss of her child at such a late juncture... and because she's disassociated before when she lost D.J., when her sister died... and then Renee."

John knew what Tom was talking about. All three of those deaths had hit her so hard that she'd struggled to maintain her hold on reality. There had been nights when he and Marlena were married that she would wake up screaming, and he would hold her, rocking her body against his as she talked about the losses in her life that never seemed to leave. She even dreamed about the day Abe shot Richard Cates. He was well aware that Marlena had lost too much.