17 January 2024
School
Not to sound overly dramatic but on my way to school, when schools opened, I really wasn't feeling it at all, I wanted to be were masha was probably laying on his bed safe and sound, I even shed a tear 😢. But I just had to pull myself together. Entertaining the school hall was about to break me into pieces until I heard a familiar voice yelling "MASHA", I immediately knew who it was, Ofentse, honestly seeing her calmed me down a bit😪. We talked and laughed but then realized that lethabo wasn't with us. We looked for her but was nowhere to be found, unfortunately she hadn't made it to grade 9. Which really made me sad because I was scared she might become distant cause i really love her and her presence 😔. Luckily she wasn't as distant cause I would have missed her badly.
After the hall assembly all grade 9's were divided into different classes and unfortunately this time I wasn't in the same class as my friends🫤. I had planned to stick with the people I knew from last year during classes and at breaks I'd go to the spot I sat at, the spot where masha first noticed me😶🌫️ the spot that brought me great joy everyday, the spot that even motivated me to come to school, just so i could see him🫠. In class i was silent the entire time, in a class masha used to sit in everytime he had visual arts🎨
Finally the bell 🔔 for break rang and as I was making my way to the door, A girl approached me and asked if we could be friends, I turn to see who it was and the second thing I noticed on her apart from her face was a bag I've been dreaming of having since September 2023🤭. I learned that her name was Onalenna, the first sentence I had said to her was that her bag was just making me emotional😭 because it was the same exact one masha had, white with a purple nike written on it
I felt like me having this bag was almost like having him close to me and my heart🤍💜.
19 January 2024
Pidi pidi🤙🏼
(Pidi pidi was a nickname we gave one of masha's bestfriends who was one of the 3 guys always looking at us. His nickname came from Ofentse.................
...🤔How she came up with that name, I have absolutely no clue why she even chose "Pidi pidi"😭 out of all the names on earth she could have chose from. But it fitted his character pretty well as he was always bobbing his had up and down, enjoying what ever music he was listening to🤣.
He sometimes was the one who signaled masha to look our direction whenever he saw me looking at his "achuzi"🫂)
One fortunate day, on the 19th of January 2024. Ofentse had found his instagram account🥳. I was so happy because I knew I was one step closer to getting Masha's cellphone numbers.
Ofentse ended up texting him with a stalking account and asked pidi pidi to give her masha's numbers. Pidi pidi was a little resistant at first💀, but I understood why he wouldn't just give out his friends number to a complete stranger🤷🏽♀️...
30 January 2024
His numbers🙉
Pidi pidi ended up giving in and gave us masha's numbers, I was so happy I could finally text him but I was shy🤭. It took me a couple of days to think about what my first message was gonna be.
11 February 2024
🌤His name🌈
Finding out his name from snapchat after receiving a notification that reports eveytime a contact is on snapchat, brought back the feelings I had when I found out his nickname, it gave me alot of positive mixed reactions, flashbacks, the shock Ness I had including emotional feelings🌤. I got to experience the silly little excitement😆 all over again but this time it was different he wasn't the to stare at me in shock, this time I felt like knowing his actually name was pointless cause he was gone for good💔.
February 2024
First boodskap🤭
Somewhere around Feb, I texted his as a guy named DK, my first message to him was "sho poii", the whole day I was shaking 🫨 as I regretted what I just did, but to me it was too late to turn things around. So I just carried on with catfishing him, I felt bad but I was to selfish to realize what I was doing was totally out of hand.
He ended up saying he feels like he's talking to a girl and I found an opportunity to tell him the truth day by day. At first he was actually kind of rude but after knowing I was actually a female, he started being nicer and i found that extremely attractive😚.
12 March 2024
His perfect picture📸
The day he sent me his picture was just a breath taking moment ever🤩 my eyes were focused on him, I could barely hear my parents calling 📞 my name from the other room!
I was so damn distracted I couldn't even see my steps and ended up falling on my phone.
🌈Everytime I closed my eyes all I could see is him. His perfect appearance🙉 has me in a chock-hold🦋 it's literally slowly about to push me off an edge, I'm about to fall way deeper then ever mainly because his a censer man with a good heart🥀. Currently I'm in the middle of moving on and holding on😫 my mind and heart are at war. My brain is trynna let go and my heart still desires you, but surely it'll know the last straw that breaks the camels back. One day🙁
I'll try waiting for you until my heart decides it time ro move on and give another guy a chance to feel loved by me.
Roses loose their pedals but they'll bloom once more🥀
