March 2023
And then i met him....😖
At the start of March, dont know exactly when, but I started realizing something that i never thought would become huge to me, i started realizing a group of 3 boys that we're always staring at us at breaks, I didn't think too much into it. I wasn't interested in any guy because I decided to stay faithful to my boyfriend (Bokamuso), whom I was dating for a year.
I choose loyalty 💯 over anything, especially if your a close friend or a potential partner or husband to me. So I really did not give to much into the situation.
Everytime we had breaks I'd start catching one of the guy's eyes, which at first made me wonder if I'm wearing my school jerseys inside-out or something💭. Honestly after a while seeing that guy with the white bag looking at me, made me feel some type of spark ✨️ between me and him
It was giving soulmate connections
I wanted to tell Ofentse and Lethabo about it but I didn't want to sound delusional or weird so I stayed silent. And I wasn't interested in him enough for me to tell people about him, think about him on a daily basis or even give him my attention, but he honestly had and still has the most attractive eyes anyone could ever see.💟
Some where at the end March
_______________________
I started seeing 👀 him everywhere I went, looked or turned, The was this on time when I accidentally slipped and grabbed his bag he turn around and looked down on me, with his gorgeous eyes, Our height differences was crazy, tho😫. I quickly apologized and rushed to class. it honestly felt like a cute encounterment😇. At breaks Our staring sessions weren't as intense, it wasn't an every day thing. Some days I wouldn't even notice him....(well at the start atleast)
Somedays after, I finally decided to tell Lethabo and Ofentse about the 3 guys always looking at our direction.
Turns out they also noticed that they we're always looking at us.
At that time, I assumed that they didn't really care about them looking.
April 2023
Easter 🐣
When it's a celebration at school, people gather at the quad to dance and have fun.
Meanwhile me and my friends were hungry and decided to not go to the quad just yet, After a few seconds I started wondering what those 3 boys where wearing so I turned to look at them but they weren't their. It was a bit disappointing because I started liking the attention one of the guy's gave me. I had also started finding him attractive 😍, I also started locking🔒 eyes with him. I really wanted to tell my friends, but I had made an impression that I wasn't interested.
I then realized that Thato didn't know about these guys, so I then asked again, "Do you guys realize that a group of boys that sit over their are always staring at us"
Ofentse spoke up, and said once more that she does see them looking this side often, One of my friends, Tshegofatso also noticed them. Tshegofatso asked me if I knew who they were always looking at
that time I didn't really know if they/he was looking at me, I was a bit curious to see if it was me who they where staring at. So I'd go somewhere just to see if his eyes were on me, fortunately they were....
Sooner or later I stated developing a little crush 😍 on him.
I started enjoying his presence, I loved seeing him everyday. He's the best thing that ever happened to me, Everytime our eyes met, they'd put me in a silly little trance😅.
May 2023
I saw myself becoming obsessed about a guy who's name I didn't even know. I started naming him with random code names like "Mr. M or Mr. My Man". I really didn't expect myself to fall this hard for a guy I didn't even know, I had told myself that I would never go for a crush, but with Mr. M it was truly different, A spark I didn't even feel with my previous boyfriend Bokamuso, don't get me wrong I loved him dearly, considering that he took my virginity and my heart. But I had a feeling that Mr my man was the on I've always desired. The fact that I broke my rules for him really means alot, his the only guy ive spent this much time and effort on. He really changed me for the better, I saw myself becoming more appreciative, generous, confident, comfortable, respectful, my intentions became good, I became more focused on making other people feel free, comfortable and make people smile 😃. I wasn't focused on making people feel below me, I wasn't focused on judging, wasn't focused on making people's smiles fade away after a comment I had said out loud. Mr. M motivated me into praying everyday, he had motivated me into reading the Bible as well as my friends 🙏 😇.
I have had my toxic moments or days in the year 2023 and i feel like i have made someone feel some type of way. And for that i truly apologize and hope it never happens again, but one can't change something that's apart of their personality over night 😮💨.
