D-W centric

Letters

T.W ⚠️ Implied PTSD, Panic attacks, Implied past suicide, Implied suicidal thoughts, Mentions of self harm.

Damians pov -
As a team 'bonding' project, me and the teen titans had to write a letter to ourselves 5 years from now, this would mean my age would be between 15 to 16.
We had 3 days to write it and would have to present it to the team. Father and the rest of the bat-clan would be present that day, so I would have to perform my letter in front of my so called family, tch typical isn't it.

Time passes quickly, and before I know it it's  time to read our letters. The other letters were alright I guess but quite childish may I add. Finally it was my turn, all of the titans and the bat-clan stared at me with anticipation, probably thinking I was going to write about the whole ' blood son speech' as Drake and Todd like to call it. Won't they be in for a surprise. Looking to my letter I take a deep breath before beginning.

" September 13, 2021
Dear future me,
Well, how to begin this. Firstly I would like to know that this should be five years from today, if your reading it before then, please seal it and wait till it is time. The questions ahead will certainly be a journey to me, you and whoever else will know about it.
I would like to ask how things in your hero career is going. Are you still robin or a new identity? Do you even still side with them or are part of the hero buissiness or
community? Next how are your academics going, have you gone to collage or are still in school, well knowing you are ready for collage at the moment I am writing this.
Now, it may be strange but how is the bat-clan doing? Is drake sleeping enough? Has todd stopped drinking or smoking? Is Gray Richard doing alright, does he have a family of his own by now?
I find it strangely fascinating how much you can change in a few years, an example is me before the laylat mayita incident when I was four. That forever changed me, whether for the good or for the bad, we have yet to find out.
Here we will be going into the serious questions. If you are not damaian, have his permission or the permission of the ones listed in the questions bellow please leave. The questions bellow here will reveal alot and may be shocking and a bit disturbing for some. You have been warned.
First off, have the operations been shut down or is the war still running?
The memories from our time of bieng experimented on is still there and still actively haunts me almost every living hour of my current life, I hope it is not the same for you, but seeing as  how my life is it has probably gotten worse or something else traumatic has scarred you again, for that I am sorry.
Next, I would like to discuss about how the rest of the 'pack' as creatures call us. I am well aware that at the moment that V is struggling more and more by herself, for the future I hope she let's us help before she hurts herself again. Also, I hope Scy is enjoying life, seeing as he should be in his early to mid twenties by then, I may even have some nieces and nephews. Then we have Ec, right now he is struggling with his family relationships. Please say it has ended up well for him.
Also, just over a year ago me and v found out we are soulmates. With any luck, our relationship is still going strong and growing.
This is the part that hopefully has stopped. Are those voices in your mind still screaming at you like it's the end of the world, saying your not worth it, to end it. It becomes to much so you find relief and the closest thing to utter silence in pain, whether it be cutting, burning or purposely being hit and injured quite badly on missions and patrol. Many have told me it's unhealthy, while some seem to try and encourage it. Many of those around me have no idea of how broken I really am because of that little mask and facade I've had on for so long, I don't know how to take it off anymore. All those night spent alone in my room in the Manor, silently crying myself to sleep. The moments where I have to try to calm myself down from a panic attack without anyone hearing anything. I hope all the suffering has stopped , that you sought out the help you so desperately needed. That you don't need to hide how your feeling with your human family anymore, being able to share your lowest moments with them instead of alone and feeling ashamed that your weak when your not. I know this now, but can't get myself to even try and believe it. I really do wish to stop faking and seek out what assistance i really need before it's to late and I end up attempting it again, more than once.

From your past self,
Damian Al Ghul Wayne. '

I look up from the letter. Everybody in the room looked completely heart broken, tears streaming down there face. My stomach twists into knots of uncertainty and guilt. I know I shouldn't have wrote about all this. The exercise was meant to be a fun little thing, not me trauma dumping on these people. In a sudden impulse I turn and sprint off to my room, ignoring all of their calls.

Once I reached my room I quickly locked the door and sank to my knees. Soundless sobbes vilontly raked my body. After a few minutes I calm down and collected myself, shakily getting to my feet. Walking to the mirror I quickly get changed into my oversized pajamas. Before I can get into bed I hear the sound of muffled voices outside and someone pounding desperately on my door.
"Damian, it's dick please let us in."
"Leave me alone Gra- Richard, I'm fine!" I respond with a hoarse voice.
The pounding on the door stopped for a moment, thinking he left I turned for the bed. Suddenly the doors opened and Richard was standing there with the others. My senses instinctively activated and I got into a defensive position. All of a sudden everything was to loud, everyone was screaming and panicking which didn't make it better. I grunted in pain and got down on my knees, trying to block out all the sounds, the lights were also to bright, everything smelled strong and anything I touched was uncomfortable. Raven shouted at everybody to shut up, then she slowly approached me. While all that was happening I was able to grab one of the batarangs and my noise cancelling headphones. Putting it on instantly made everything less painful, so I focused on my breathing and gripped the battering as hard as I could, trying to only focus my main mind on it. After a minute I managed to calm myself down enough to be able to stand. I stumbled and first, then whispered
"What do you want?"
"Son, we only want to make sure you're ok"
The titans simultaneously said "yeah!"
Flinching at the sound, Raven sends a apologetic look. Todd spoke up
"Demo- uh Damian, was all that true?"
I slowly nodded. Drake then asked the question of the day.
" You said before you could attempt again, more than once. Does that mean that you...."
He trailed off afterwards.
I begrudgingly reply with a stiff nod.
Suddenly the room was filled with tension, luckily Richard broke it by saying
"Dames, we can talk more about it later back at the Manor, till then we should let him rest"
I was grateful he said that, five minutes later they were all out of my room, the door locked and me snuggling into bed. Maybe the idea of writing that in the letter wasn't so bad after all.