the other night...
a.n// mature content...
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I painfully stole his bangle from his wrists.
"Why?" he asked subtly.
"Because I can?" more like a question, I replied. I quickly thought about changing the topic, irritated, I continued, "let me hide it so you won't remember." Then I used the sleeves of my sweater to cover it up.
I felt that stinging pain in my belly again. It comes with cramps. "Ouch," I murmured. I didn't think he'd hear it but he was so caring that I almost despised him. Normally, once I expressed my pain, he'd order me to sit quietly but later on say sorry but instead he pulled me to him and carefully, carefully, rested my head on his chest.
Oh, the perfume....
"Did you know that you're just like a child?"
I whimpered, but still rested still on him. "Tell me?" I asked.
"Don't worry."
Another flesh of disgust crept up my already fiery skin. 'why?' went through my head over a gazillion times. He was fond of it. It was either he started something, then ended abruptly without relaying the real information or he said something almost deep but wouldn't explain.
Dumbfounded, once again.
I lifted my head up from his chest to express my disgust for him shielding my desired information. I knew what it was, I just wanted him to say it. To hear it. To know what it was from his lips.
Oh, those lips.
"What?" he snickered.
I pouted and instead rested my head on the railings. I still don't know if that made him jealous because he instantly apologized. Unlike him again, I got pissed.
"I want ice cream."
"Mary, It's midnight, how would I get it? You already ate a lot of sugar today."
"It's what I want."
"Don't tell me what you want again!" He commanded.
And just when I thought he was back to the old boy I knew, he rubbed my upper back gently and asked, "are you angry?"
I wasn't, but I am now. Don't you get? Don't be all that caring to me. No! Be caring, but I need the you I know, not the you that will have to touch me to apologize.
So now I was resting on him again. He wrapped his hands around me. He was special. I wasn't expecting him to be all touchy when I was in that time of the month. Most guys would be disgusted.
I inhaled, yet, more than enough of his perfume but I wasn't satisfied. He rubbed my back gently, slowly, almost like patting a bit but of rubbing instead.
I started shaking, I was a sensitive lot. A little whoosh of the breeze made my bones shaky. "I'm cold," I murmured but not to his hearing. No! To his hearing but I'm guessing he ignored it.
His fingers slipped up my jaw and he cupped it, "are you okay?" he asked softly.
No! No I'm not okay. I'm wondering what someone must have told you about ladies on their period, to make you think I needed triple times the care you normally gave me. That made you think that admitting your wrong without letting me fight it was something I liked. That made you think that you could just undo a wrong by letting me inhale your scent.
And still, I inhale the scent from the bangle like it's therapy.
"Mhm," I hummed.
He raised me up and slipped my lower lip into his mouth. He suckled on it before letting it out and doing the same to my upper lip. His hands weren't idle at all. Hile found a way to undo my buttons and slipped his non-innocent fingers towards my nipples.
He let go of my lips and gave me those little kisses to my neck. I thought they were meant to arouse me. I thought they were meant to make me feel those tingling desires or those tiny butterflies in my belly but it didn't.
Books and movies made kissing your partner sacred. Mine wasn't. Or maybe because he was even my partner to begin with. Yes! It wasn't defined. What if we both just wanted to satisfy our cravings.
'Crushes are better off as crushes' I said to myself. I went too deep thinking I was in love but it was mere infatuation.
He rubbed my nipples, not taking into consideration that I was still having cramps. He pressed them, he moved his lips, he sucked them, but I didn't, even by mistake, let out a single moan of pleasure... I didn't want to fake it.
I despised his secular and vulgar acts.
What was I thinking?
"I'm cold," I said in his ear this time.
"I'm sorry. I should take you back home now." He replied and did my bra well before buttoning my shirt. He slipped his palm in mine and aided me.
"Can you walk?"
I nodded instantly like I expected the question ages ago. He looked away, not the slightest guilt to be read on his face.
"Do you want to stay somewhere for warmth?" He deadpanned.
He didn't want me to be warm, he wanted to continue from where he stopped. At least I thought.
We walked silently to my gate. It was drizzling now. "Run back," I cried.
He did. He did but he didn't look back. At me, at all. I watched him go and I sat before my gate, under the rain as it turned heavy and I cried. What had I done? Why did I feel dirty? So dirty I wanted to rip my flesh out and grow a new one.
Mistake? Mistake!
But my phone notification brought me back to reality. I was drenched. I pulled out the phone and it was a text from him.
I've reached. How about your cold?
I stared at the message as rain splattered on the screen of my phone.
Thank God. I'll be fine.
Was my honest reply because, I would be, wouldn't I?
I switched the phone off and walked into the gate, straight past a whole 24 other rooms before getting to my room, but I stopped at just one trusted room before my room.
I couldn't keep this feeling that was growing inside of me.
Not while I twitched to inhale my therapy, the bangle.
a.n//
i hope you find this story interesting. I'd be updating every sunday. what do you think? any questions? any feedback? what do you think about the main character, or the boy?
