The Lego Movie (Genderbend Insert)

Opening

The scene opens to a cave, deep within the Lego Mountain Vitruvius is guarding something when he senses someone approaching.

Vitruvius: "He is coming. Cover your butt."

Guard: "Cover the what?"

Lord Business bursts in killing the guards and does an evil laugh.

Lord Business: "Vitruvius!"

Vitruvius: "Lord Business."

Lord Business: "You've hidden the Kragle well, old man. *turning to his army of Lego robots* Robots, destroy him!"

Robots: "Yes, Lord Business."

Vitruvius: "Your robots are no match for a Master Builder! For I see everything!"

A red laser pointer is shoots to Vitruvius eyes, causing him to go blind.

Vitruvius: "My eyes! Ow!"

Lord Business: "The Kragle the most powerful super weapon in the universe is mine! Oh the Kragle! *evil laugh* Now my evil power will be unlimited! Can you feel me?"

Robot (monotone): "I can feel you."

His robots start carrying the Kragle away

Lord Business: "Whoo hoo! Nothing's gonna stop me now!"

Vitruvius: "*weak* Wait! There was a prophecy."

Lord Business: "*grumbles, complaints* Oh, now there's a prophecy. *turns to Vitruvius"

Vitruvius: "*cont'd* About the Piece of Resistance."

Lord Business: "Oh, yes, the supposed missing Piece of Resistance that can somehow magically disarm the Kragle. Gimme a break!"

Vitruvius rises and turns to face Lord Business, suddenly his eyes shine brightly.

Vitruvius: "One day a talented lass or fellow, a Special one with face of yellow, will make the Piece of Resistance found from its hiding refuge underground. And with a noble army at the helm, this Master Builder will thwart the Kragle and save the realm, and be the greatest, most interesting, most important person of all times. All this is true, because it rhymes."

Lord Business: "Oh, well. That was a great inspiring legend that you made up."

He then suddenly kicks Vitruvius with his giant robot leg off the edge of the cliff.

Lord Business: "'A Special one?' What a bunch of hippy dippy baloney."