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2nd Place Winner:Yadavi: The Name of Yearning by dwarkaratna
CLARITY & CONCISE: 10/10
INTRIGUE & HOOK: 08/10
GRAMMAR & VOCABULARY: 09/10
VOICE & STYLE: 09/10
PERSUASIVE POINTS: 09/10
TOTAL: 45/50
REVIEW:
• Strengths:
➜bIntriguing Premise: The blurb introduces a unique love story within the Mahabharata mythos. The concept of Arjun's yearning for Yadavi, coupled with her mysterious nature, sparks curiosity.
➜ Emotional Connection: The blurb effectively conveys Arjun's longing and Subhadra's budding affection. Phrases like "aspiration of life" and "firm hold over my heart" evoke an emotional response in the reader.
➜ Mythological Reference: Mentioning Arjun, Draupadi, Krishna, and the Yadav clan grounds the story in a familiar and respected mythological context.
➜ Vivid Language: Words like "glorious princesses," "mesmerizing beauty," and "virtuous princess" paint a vivid picture of the characters and their world.
➜ Cliffhanger Ending: The question of whether their love will face obstacles generates intrigue and encourages readers to want to know more.
• Weaknesses:
➜ Grammar Errors: There are a few grammatical errors in the blurb, such as "as he had disturbed the privacy of his brother Yudhishthir with their common wife, Empress Draupadi" (should be "disturbed his cousin Yudhishthira's privacy with their shared wife").
➜Clarity on Yadavi's Mystery: A hint about the nature of Yadavi's mystery could further pique the reader's interest. Is it her lineage, personality, or something more?
