no one's ever had me, not like you

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sorry, i'm depressed so i write depressed. i actually tried writing a lighthearted one shot to post before this one, sort of to act as a filler between all this angst but it was so booooring, i'm just posting this one now. ttpd is fucking brilliant, by the way. i love every second of it. her best album by FAR. tw - alcohol abuse

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An open bottle of white wine sitting on the bench was the first thing Travis noticed when he stepped into the kitchen after his morning shower. He frowned at the sight, and set out to find Taylor. She would probably be in her music room, she'd had a burst of creativity yesterday and was eventually playfully dragged to bed by Travis.

He found her sitting at her desk, working on something on the computer. Producing, by the looks of it. Travis had yet to really understand the process of making music. An empty wine glass sat on a coaster under the monitor. He walked over to stand behind her, and draped his arms around her neck in the way she loved so much. Taylor flinched at first, but quickly melted into him and took her headphones off.

"Hi baby," she smiled up at him, bringing her hands to hold his arms in place.

"Good morning," Travis placed a kiss on the top of her head. He looked at the screen, "What are you working on?"

"Just some stuff," she shrugged.

"Stuff?" Travis raised his eyebrows. "Very intriguing."

Taylor giggled and looked back at the screen. "Just trying out some new things, seeing what I like."

Travis nodded and sighed. "Bit early to start drinking, babe."

"Um," Taylor glanced at the wine glass and chuckled nervously. "I'm just... I just had a little."

"At 10am."

Taylor rolled her shoulders back and Travis got the hint to take his arms off her. He took a step back and looked at the back of her head.

When Taylor moved to put her headphones back on, he spoke up. "Taylor."

She sighed and dropped them in her lap, and swivelled around in her chair.

"Please don't try to make it a big deal when it's really not. I know it looks bad, okay, I just like the taste!" Taylor smiled adoringly, almost compassionately.

Travis knew they were having two conversations. One was surface level, the words being said. But he knew this ran deeper. Taylor had shared with him the painful truth about her relationship with alcohol, especially in recent years. He knew it was complicated, but didn't know the intricate details of what it looks like when she's struggling and how to help. But he'd promised her to do all he could to support her if problems arise again ("Not if, when," Taylor had said dryly. "I know it's pessimistic, I just feel like it's inevitable.").

So, here Travis stood, trying to figure out whether Taylor was lying because she didn't want him to worry about her, or whether she was in denial herself. Either way, it was a lie. It wasn't normal for Taylor to drink a glass every night, although she made it seem casual. And now she was drinking before lunch.

"Have you had breakfast?" he asked.

"Mmm, not yet. I was going to make us brunch, actually. I forgot..." she trailed off, glancing at her computer screen and toying with her fingers.

"Do you wanna make it together?"

Taylor smiled, "Yeah. That would be really nice."

When Taylor stood up, he brought her into a hug and whispered, "I love you."

"Love you too," she murmured against his chest, leaning against him.

In the kitchen, Travis swiped the bottle up with one hand and screwed the lid on as Taylor trailed him into the room apprehensively.

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