Marauders - Always - Part One

Shattered

"He stole an inheritance?"

"Yes, that bastard was born and being the eldest male made him the heir over her because that's apparently how heir-ship works."

"Ohh. Right." Remus nodded. "Yes, that would be how... traditionally, at least... things like that works." He frowned.

"Well, they hated him for that... but also because he was... different."

"Different?"

"Gay."

"Ah." Remus smirked, then, playfully, "So that's where you caught it from."

"Yes, terrible contagious, gay is."

Remus stroked Sirius's hair. "Is that why you suppressed yourself for so long?"

Sirius drew a deep breath, "Yes I believe so." He stared up at Remus's chin, at the whispers of facial hair that were growing in the days since Remus had stood in the bathroom shaving. Sirius liked watching Remus shave, liked watching the hairs grow back in the places they'd been cut from, and loved to run his nose across the rough patches and feel the scratchiness against his own skin. Remus's hair had always been something that Sirius had loved - back in fourth year, he could remember staring at the way the curls fell across Remus's forehead, and the way he tossed his head from time to time when they'd grown a bit longer than he preferred, and the mop of curls fell over when he stared down at his parchments as he wrote... Sirius had loved those curls always. And he reckoned that Uncle Alphard had probably once loved other person's curls. Or some other small piece of his lover's being that he couldn't get out of his mind. And for that - for loving the curls on the forehead of a boy - Orion and Walburga had hated him. For that, they hated their own son. For that, a great deal of people hated him.

Hated him for loving.

Sirius leaned up and he ran his hand over those curls now, though they were shorter, closer to where Remus preferred they rested than they'd been back in fourth year with all the tossing had been done. Sirius stared into Remus's eyes.

"I love you," Remus told him firmly, "And I hate that they did not love you. But you are loved now. And you are safe now. I will not let anyone hurt you. No one will use that cruciatus curse on you again. I will see to it. And if they do, it is because they've done it after my last breath has left my body or else the moment before the last breath will lose theirs." Remus stared into Sirius's eyes, "I swear that to you as solemnly as I gave you my vows, Sirius."

And Sirius believed him.

Maybe it is telling that neither of them thought there was anything more painful than the cruciatus curse - even then.

Sirius ran his hand over his face, swiping away the stains of tear tracks that lined his cheeks. "All of this... all of this because that sodcake dared to tell me not to trust Peter." Sirius shook his head.

Remus paused.

Sirius saw the pause in his eyes. "What?" he asked.

Remus's voice tread lightly, "I was in Peter's room just now... well, before. When you went to play your records with Tonks. She'd said that Peter and Oni asked her to guard something in there... Silly, I know, probably just a thing to distract her mind... but I was curious. So..."

"And?" Sirius pressed.

Remus opened his mouth to answer, but was interrupted by the sound of Lily's voice, frantic, "SIRIUS? SIRIUS WHAT'S WRONG?"

Her cal was quickly followed by James's, "Oi Padfoot!"

"Oh shit," Sirius said, rising himself up from the floor in a fluid motion, "Lilith felt all that emotion, blast! She oughtn't be panicking in her condition, I -" and he rushed out to meet her partway.