Chapter 28
Break up
November, year Two Thousand and Twenty Three. The whole Senior High School shift got me us exhausted. Cy and I got so busy and decided to just meet every recess, lunch, and afternoon dismissal.
Kadalasan pa ay hindi na siya nakakapag recess dahil na rin sa dami ng gagawin.
Napatigil ako sa pagtulala nang marinig na tumutunog ang tyan ko, nang tignan ko naman sila Misha at Jasmin ay abala sila sa pag gawa ng Calculus namin kaya ang phone ko nalang ang inasikaso ko.
[hey, you have class?]
[Cy : di ko alam]
[bili tayo food?]
[Cy : wala akong gana]
[water? bili ako then abot ko nalang sayo]
I waited for her reply pero hindi ako nakatanggap after minutes of waiting. Lumabas nalang ako tsaka bumili ng tubig. Idadaan ko nalang muna bago ako bumili ng pagkain.
[Cy : mamaya na]
She finally replied. But I was already downstairs. I stood beside the stairway and replied.
[Im already here sa baba]
[kahit abutin mo lang]
[Cy : mamaya na nga]
I was confused. I tried asking her more pero iyon lang ding ang sagot niya.
[Cy : mamaya na.]
I stared at her reply for a minute then head back to my room. I don't know what just happened pero I was tearing up. I was silently calming my self habang naglalakad.
I got childish too because I replied madly.
[wag na.]
[babalik na ako sa room.]
I immediately turned off my phone after that. I find that odd, the way she replied was odd and I hate how I reacted, I got mad.
That made me not talk all day, hindi rin ako sumama kila Misha. I was with EJ, and he might also find it odd too.
Cy approached me nang lunch, pero hindi ko alam ang gagawin kaya I just stood beside her silently. Nang mapansing wala siya sa tabi ko ay agad kong tinignan si Jasen na kasama kong bumili ng pagkain.
"Kasama lang natin kanina si Cy?" I asked him, mahina lang rin.
"Bumalik na sa room nila."
I nodded.
I ate lunch silently, thinking of Cy. Alam kong hindi siya mag l-lunch.
After eating, tumambay muna ako sa corridor sa tapat ng room namin. Sinundan ako ni Jasen kaya nag usap kami saglit.
"Bakit daw bumalik sa room nila?"
"Tanga, 'di mo naman daw kasi pinapansin." He answered, tumatawa pa. "Nag away kayo?" Habol na tanong niya.
"Malay."
"Hinihintay ka niya ron kanina."
"Hindi siya bumili ng pagkain?"
"Hindi." He stared at me then laughed. "Tangina mo 'te, aawayin mo tapos concerned ka. Baliw." He went back inside to get his back.
Inaway ko nga, pero girlfriend ko parin siya. Malamang sa malamang concerned parin ako.
When afternoon classes started, it seems like Cy's section isn't that busy. One of her classmates was at our room.
Lumipat naman kami sa taas ng building kasi doon kami mag ka klase. I saw her with her classmates, roaming around the area.
Vacant nga ata nila.
Nang nasa computer laboratory naman kami ay halos kalahati ng room nila ay nandoon sa likod. Nakikinig rin sa klase namin, she was there too.
But I was too focused making myself calm. Sobrang init sa pwesto ko at kanina pa ako nahihilo, kaunti lang rin ang kinain ko noong lunch kaya masama ang pakiramdam ko.
After the classes, I never seen her everywhere.
Now, I miss her. Bobo mo, Chi.
[Cy : nauna na ako umuwi, ingat.]
"Anong problema mo." Napatingin ako agad kay mama nang magsalita siya.
I was sighing countless times since I arrived from school. Nag kulong nalang ako sa kwarto ko habang hinihintay siyang mag online.
[love]
[im sorry]
[na off ako kanina]
She told me things she doesn't want. That includes me, being annoyingly 'makulit'.
But things fucked up and we had another misunderstanding.
[you know]
[putol putol]
I was pertaining to our conversation that day. I requested too much attention that day that made her upset.
We started fighting. I was so scared that she might be tired of me by then.
After that conversation, she asked for space. She want me to leave her alone. Pero hindi ko kaya, I was still checking up on her even though she is not replying.
[Cy : let's end this.]
I was shattered when she said that.
Haze was beside me kaya I tired my best not to suppress my cries. Katatapos ko lang magdahilan na nagbasa ako kaya mugto ang mata ko.
He noticed me and asked why I was crying but I just shrugged and focuse on my phone.
[have u thought about it?]
[Cy : i'll explain]
[Cy : hindi naman pwedeng ikaw nalang ang umiintindi, baka mas lalo lang masira kung ganon]
[do u really, really want to end us?]
[Cy : u need to focus on yourself]
[answer my question please]
[Cy : yes, im sorry.]
[nah, i understand]
[thank you]
I turned off my phone and placed it under my pillow. I started to cry harder kaya agad kong tinakpan iyong mukha ko. Crying never got me tired, it made me more sad.
Hindi na kasi tumigil.
How can this be so fucking painful.
Nang kumalma na ay nag open ako ng phone, I saw her messages too but chose to ignore them. I don't think I can talk to her right now.
I focused on reading.
But her message popped up.
We talked.
[Cy : pumunta ka bukas]
[depends]
[Cy : proud ako sayo]
[salamat, I am proud of you too]
[so much]
At least, we can still talk right?
At least.
h x a s n c n
