And They Told Me I Couldn't Act

TAKE 32

I'M NOT SURE how I ended up in a cafe with Emma, it was one of those things that just happened alongside the official premiere screening of the first episode of Vanity High.

"I'm obsessed with the trailer," Emma says rewatching the trailer for the fifth time today, we've just sat down and it's all she can talk about.

"I can tell," I say drily.

"They're setting you up as the bad guy," she says not at all bothered by comment.

"So are you," I smirk, then I reach out to poke her elbow, "Come on, the food's getting cold."

"It's served cold," she mutters still engrossed in the trailer.

I like it though, the attention. I like how she reads the comments out loud, I like how all the comments are focused on me, about how I look, and how people wanted to see me in the role. I liked the focus of me on the trailer.

She puts down the phone, "You don't think we're going to get hate for it, do you?"

"As long as we show how different we are in the interviews, it should be fine... unless you've got a really villainous personality, Emma?"

She laughs at this, "Then we better hope they don't catch Pri-" she abruptly stops. We're in public, it's a risky statement to make.

"Yeah," I say, trying to save her. "But we'll be fine," I say.

"Do you think they'll ask you questions about Harry?"

I shrug, "I wouldn't be surprised."

"I think Elliot won't let them," she says grimly, "he wants the focus to be on Vanity High, of which, Harry's coming for the premier isn't he?"

"He is," I say because even though we've been scheduled to end. It wasn't at the time of the premier. Since that message, I'd barely heard from him. I wonder if he's working on another music video before the album's release, since replanning the whole aesthetic, his other music video launches might need to be reshot.

It'll take a pinch out of his pocket, but his pockets are deep-lined.

"It's crazy, sometimes, I can't wrap my head around the fact that you're like dating such a big celebrity."

This tickles me. In the wrong way, I know I'm not a household name, but I do have some acting credits under me. But I don't defend it, I just stare at the salad wondering if this is what everyone thinks of me.

What will they think of me when we inevitably break up? Will they forget my name? My fingers turn sweaty, I've come too far along to be forgotten, maybe the break-up will show renewed interest in Vanity High, or maybe it'll fail. Maybe there won't be a second season.

I needed Vanity High to succeed, I wanted to fly high.

But I wasn't a Disney girl - my opportunities were already limited.

"Is it difficult now that he's going on his press tour?" She asks.

I wonder if Emma listens to a word I say, I wonder if she even cares. Then again, is there anyone besides Priscilla that cares about me? I've no friends. I know when Vanity High is over - Emma will bleed out of my life because when the ones closest to you can betray you, there's not much hope for much else.

"It is," I admit, "I'm not used to it, but it's nice whenever we manage to talk."

Emma smiles at this, "Do you think he'll be able to introduce me to any of his friends?"

I raise my eyebrow, "Is there a celebrity you're crushing on?" I might sound teasing, friendly but all I can see is that she's looking for her own celebrity to sky-rocket her up to fame. The world of the famous is a dog-eat-dog world. Christopher is trying to spark flames with a co-star, Priya who's leveraging off her money, and now Emma, looking for a big name to propel her up.

And how can I hate her? Hadn't I done the very same thing?

She flushes, "Don't we all have one?"

"So who is it?" I ask.

She shrugs, "I happen to have many," and then she takes a bite of the cold salad she'd been eating. "And I just want to check if they can live up to the expectations I might have of them."

"So who are they?"

Emma puts the fork down, then leans forward, "The Jonas Brothers."

"They're married," I say drily.

"I know, but still," She says, "what if there's an opening?"

My stomach turns sick. I know she's teasing, but there's some things you don't tease about. But then Emma who's younger than me doesn't know what it's like to have acid burn in your mouth, to have watched forever slip into an abyss. How would she know what it's like? All she sees is a pretty face. It's a wonder Christopher didn't try for her but I know why - if he's doing this out of cunning, dating Emma who's not even a lead role, a mere minion on the show will not win him enough publicity.

Dating one of his on-screen love interests will.

Emma must see something on my face, because she confirms what I thought, "I'm just teasing."

"I know," I admit. But the conversation dries out. We eat our salad, I pay for the bill and we head back home. As I take a cab back, I tell myself I should move out. Priscilla's helped by sending me a few condos within my budget but I haven't gone further than that to look.

I thought of going with Emma but now I'm queasy thinking about her.

I only can think of one person to call.

AN

Any guesses who she's going to call? There's really no surprise! However the surprise is in this early update so please don't forget to VOTE, COMMENT and maybe share the story if you like it so far?

See you next week!

Pain.