Carry on, Wayward Daughter

Arguments, Emotions, and Different Notions

"I will not have any of this sass, Liliana. Not one bit of this attitude towards me. I already dealt with your father for 18 long years." John glares at me.

"First of all, it's Lily. Second, you first. Stop treating me like an inferior child. Third, don't talk about my dad that way. " I return his glare.

"You are a child, therefore you will be treated like one." He's getting angrier by the second, like my plan.

"I was never a kid. I may physically be a child, but not mentally. I've seen some horrible things. Things I want to forget." My glare is softened and replaced with sadness.

"Oh really? You've seen things?! What about me, I saw my own wife burst into flames! You've seen nothing compared to what I've seen." His voice is laced with hatred as he slowly walks towards me.

I stand up defensively. "What about what happened to my mom?! The same thing happened."

"Please, spare the dramatics! You were a baby then. You couldn't remember that." He steps toward me and looks down at me.

"I wish I could forget. I really do! But I can't. Every night her cries play in my head. Every night her last words repeat like a broken record in my head that I can't escape from. I can't plug my ears or change the record." Multi-emotion tears begin to brim in my eyes.

"I love you so much, baby. You're my world. Never forget that. Be good for your daddy, Lil. I'll love both of you forever."

"And you don't think that doesn't happen to me? Hell yes, it does! But you don't see me crying about it. This is why you can't be a part of the family business. Every time something is an inconvenience, you cry." He's now yelling at me, making my emotions amplify. I push past him and bolt to my room.

Dad calls after me, but I ignore him and slam my door. I put my back to the door and slowly slip down and end up sitting with my back to the door. I buried my face in my arms propped up on my knees.

There was a knock on the door. "Lil, wanna talk?" It was my uncle.

"No. I'm fine." I attempt to say flatly, but it comes out in a choked sob.

"Yeah.... 'fine'...." he says very sarcastically. "You don't seem fine, not even remotely fine. You're crying because of someone in your family being an ass-hat to you, he isn't worth it. I would say you could show off your hunting skills to show him what you're made of, but you need to stay in Baby this time."

"He isn't my family." that came out louder than intended, but I didn't care in the heat of the moment. "And he always judges me! You're dressing like a man, you eat too much, you're too muscular for a woman, all that shit. First of all, cargo pants and a graphic tee isn't dressing like a man, it's not dressing like an American Girl Doll or whatever they're called."

"Why are you letting her scream at you, Dean?!" It was John. (Ew.)

"Dad, she tried to get away from you, and now you came to yell at her?" he snaps back.

John pounds on my door. "Open this door, I was speaking to you and you disrespected me."

I roll my eyes. "You don't deserve my respect. You're delusional if you think I'll respect you when all you do is disrespect me."

He laughs darkly and softly. "You will respect me. You aren't going to be all rebellious like your father, and sure as hell will listen to me when I'm speaking to you. I'll only ask one more time. Open. This. Door."

I have slight satisfaction from making his temper flare, knowing now that he's going to bitch to Dad about 'raising me right'. It is kind of funny to get him mad, but I've heard from both Dad and my uncle that he has a reputation for being a bit violent when ticked off; especially when it's mixed with alcohol.

"Why should I respect you? Just because you're older doesn't automatically give you my respect and make me inferior to you. When will you understand that? It isn't the time of children being seen and not heard."

I hear John exhale. "SAMUEL! GO SPEAK WITH YOUR DAUGHTER, NOW!" his shouting was incredibly loud, and made my ears ring even through the door. I hear Dad's footsteps approach.

"Okay, what is going on here?" he inquires, in a vaguely demanding tone.

"Your daughter is being incredibly disrespectful to me! So you let her walk all over you and treat you like this? Modern parenting bullshit!" John yells at my Dad. He tries to respond, but I cut in.

"You can yell at me, but you CAN NOT yell at my Dad! You already spent 18 years doing that, you don't need to do it more than you already have. Just LEAVE HIM ALONE!" I said that louder than expected, but my voice didn't waver at all thankfully.

"This is what I'm saying! She is SO very disrespectful to me." he spat at my father.

"She was standing up for me, let it go, Dad. She is acting more mature than you are right now, and you're expecting to be treated as superior to her. There is also a difference between respect and obedience. You're expecting her to blindly obey without question. It's good to question authority, especially since she is a teenager. As long as she isn't blatantly defying something, it's fine." Dad maintained his voice to be steady throughout.

"And what if she defies you? You'll let her do it again?" I can almost hear John's glare.

"Well that depends on what it is. If she gets arrested for a DUI, or if she has a hard time staying awake because she stayed up all night reading. They are two very different things. If she had a DUI which is doubtful, it would be way different than if she was tired throughout the day." Dad knocks on my door softly. "You okay in there, Lil?"

"Mhm. Just listening to the drama." I reply, still sitting against my door.

I forgot that Dean was in the same room and John and my dad, because he wasn't talking an unnecessary amount; which I found unusual. "Dad, leave the kid be. Anyways, we need to get on the road. It's 550 miles to Forrest City, Arkansas."