Bringer of Death (Cruel Gods 1)

Chapter 43: Pushed

Hermes laid still next to Kore with her head tucked into his chest. The up and down movement was all that told her he was even alive.

"I'm seeing Macaria today." She paused hoping today would be the day he spoke back. "I was going to go with or without Hades permission but I think he's putting shackles on her to keep her from using the death on me. I kind of wish he wouldn't though." She picked at her nail beds as she continued, "I don't think anyone should be suppressed. And she's just a kid. And I really don't think she'd try to kill me again. If she knew... well I just don't think what she saw could be much worse you know?"

She usually avoided talking about the heavens with him. They both knew what happened, mostly anyway. Her memories were still working themselves back but she knew his curse was forced obedience. She knew it hurt him to hurt her more than it actually did. And she knew she loved him in some way.

The pieces that were coming back were clear. They'd slept together. They spent a lot of time together. And she felt safe with him.

She didn't need or want to remember the moments she blacked out completely, even though she did try at times. It was unsettling to know things happened to her without remembering what exactly those things were. It was even worse knowing they were bad and lead to the scars all over her body.

"Hecate said you're choosing to be silent. That you've spoken to her but refuse to speak with me. I think I understand though. I didn't talk to Hades for days for reasons I still don't know exactly. I couldn't at first because my throat was so damaged but when I finally did it was just to tell him about the nightmares. Sometimes they feel so real and I wake up completely frozen unable to move until he helps me. I guess that's all I want to do for you."

"That's all?" Hermes voice was so low she almost thought she didn't hear it. But those sapphire eyes were open, looking down at her. The light behind them was dim but they were open.

She shimmied herself up against the headboard "I wasn't even sure you were listening."

He didn't move or offer her anything else.

"Yes, I want to help you."

"Then leave." He said coldly.

"What? Why?"

"You want to help me. You can leave." There was no emotion in his voice as he said those harsh words.

"But..."

"What don't you understand? I don't want you here. You're not helping."

His face blurred with the built up tears in her eyes. "Why?" She paused, "You went to the mortal veil to bring me back here. You fucked me. And then the second we're back and I get some of my memories you go completely silent. And now you want me to leave you?!"

His entire body remained still, "You should go back to Hades."

"I don't want to right now. I want to be with you!"

The shake of his head was slight, "Kore..."

"What did he do to you? I seen the blood on his hands when he came back. Did he threaten you? Did he hurt you?"

"Please. I brought you back because I knew you would never return there. I fucked you because I needed to. And now I need you to leave."

"Fine." Her teeth grinned together. "I'll be back tomorrow."

"I won't be here." He said harsher, taking his harsh stare from her to the end of the bed. "I should have left a long time ago."

"Where are you going?"

It was slow but he looked back to her, dropping his eyes over the red and purple scars scattered around her arms, to the scar that marked her shoulder from Alecto, to the one that ran up her neck.