The Story Of...

Chapter 2: The Boy

In the midst of everything going on there was a boy, of course there was, and this year was going to be just the start of something that would haunt me for years. We started talking right before COVID had truly hit its peak, and i'm not going to lie y'all are probably going to hate me for this one. The way that I was first introduced to his existence was through a friend of mine...She was dating him a year prior to when me and him not so formally introduced ourselves. SO, let me go ahead and get into that first.

Me and this girl Elizabeth met one day at my middle school whenever some girls were picking on her about her looks, mind you she's not an ugly girl, and I walked over there and just started talking to her. I know how it feels to be picked on and also have nobody to go to about it. I became that person for her. Now, we didn't get super close, we would only talk occasionally on social media when something happened to one of us. This was also around the time that she was dating Calvin, they were going good and I would see her post him from time to time and think to myself "Goddamn he's so ugly, she can do so much better" but I never said anything because she was happy.

Ultimately he ended up breaking up with her, and she came to me upset, as friends do, and what did I do a year later? I got with him...oops. I promise i'm not a backstabbing bitch but things just kind of happened. It all started with him sliding up on one of the stories I had posted to my social media saying the food looked good. I laughed at the message and left it at that. As the days went on I kept getting more and more story replies and he started sparking up different conversations with me. Just about little things I would post that he had either been through or could relate to. It went from short conversations about those things, to conversations about random things, until we were fully talking about any and everything all day every day. He became a regular part of my life at some point. I only saw him as a friend because he did date Elizabeth and I didn't want to pursue anything further and wreck our friendship. I had no intentions of falling in love with this boy.

Soon after we started texting he got my number, we started calling every day, and then we started falling asleep on facetime. I don't even know how it got to that point, but we were there and while I did feel bad, I couldn't help what was happening. I began falling for him just based off of this friendship. But at the same time I couldn't really tell what I felt for him. I felt friendship vibes and relationship vibes. But as a girl, sometimes you really can't tell what is what when it comes to guys, It's hard to separate being platonic from actually having feelings for someone. He was truly so kind to me and had a way with his words that just made me feel safe. I felt like I knew him for who he was and that he would never decieve me. He was always there when I needed him and Calvin always said just the right ting to make me feel better and help me collect my thoughts.

I just didn't feel right about how interested in him I was. I knew Elizabeth would be devastated because she did love him very much. I couldn't help it though, I couldn't just stop having feelings for him, especially when I wasn't even sure when they started. But they had gotten too strong for me to do anything about how I was feeling. When I tried to distance myself I just ended up hurting myself more than it was hurting me to continue. Everything with him just felt right.

Although, things between us didn't truly start to escalate until the lock down...