new girl - leah williamson

chapter 22: the final pt 1

i walk down the corridor, tears threatening to leave my eyes. i've just finished a session, and i managed to keep myself together.
if anyone mentions most things that get to me, i'll get angry.
there's one thing that i hate talking about that makes me cry, the rest just make me mad.
i scan my keycard, the door unlocking. i walk into my room, my hood up, just wanting to sleep off the pain and upset.
i just don't want leah to see.
that's the one thing i want.

i walk into the bedroom, beelining my way past leah in the kitchen.

"soph"
"soph?" she repeats. i feel her eyes watch me as i walk into the bedroom. i just stand there, not sure what to do. i hear her footsteps get closer, coming into the room. i stand there, facing away from the door.
i just stand there. not being able to move.
i feel a tear run down my cheek. fuck.

"soph?" leah repeats, now closer. stood behind me. fuck fuck fuck.
"sophia?" leah reaches for my hand, gently taking it. she pulls me around to face her. strands of my hair's askew around my face.
"oh soph..
what's happened?"
i don't reply, i just pull her body into mine, holding her tight, closing my eyes. shaky breaths leave my throat.

"it's okay soph, it's okay" she whispers gently, tears falling onto her back.
now i'm really loosing it.
the tears won't stop pouring, i hold leah tighter, worried she might walk away.
she must think i'm really pathetic.

crying, and not stopping. it's not stopping, the tears, the quiet whimpers leaving my throat, the deep breaths i inhale.
what if she just goes?
sick of all my shit and leaves?
maybe she'll share a room with keira, she's a lot easier than i am.
no stupid panic attacks, or getting angry, or crying.
it will be a lot easier for her.

"you can go leah, if you want to, you can go. " i say, more like whisper, the sound barely leaving my throat

"i don't want to go soph, what happened?"
she replies, rubbing her gently up and down my back.
up and down up and down.

"it's okay, i'm sure keira's a lot easier" i say inbetween breaths, some more tears spilling down my cheeks.

"soph i don't want to go"
"please just tell me what happened?"

"i talked about my parents..." i whisper, my voice breaking off. leah squeezes her arms around me tighter, more tears running down my cheeks.

"come here" leah says, taking my hand, gently pulling me over to the bed. she lays down, and i immediately climb ontop of her, holding her tight.
"how'd you still look good, even when you're crying" she compliments, earning a small laugh out of me. i slip off my hoodie, tear marks on the cuffs from where i've wiped my tears.
i lay back down, resting my head on her chest, feeling my eyes go heavy as she drags her nails up and down my back, under my hoodie and shirt.

i slowly open my eyes, the sun pouring through the window. leah underneath me, her hand under my shirt, resting on my back. i look up at her, and she's fast asleep. god she's pretty.
i reach for leah's phone, which is discarded next to her on the bed.
i check the time 11:37.
9 hours.
9 hours until history is made.
9 hours until we could win the euros.
9 hours until the kick off of the euros final.

we have to leave the hotel at 1:30.
giving us enough time to get to wembly, do a light training session, go over tactics, have some down time before the biggest match of our lives.

some time passes and i just lay there, enjoying the regular beat of leah's heart, the smell of her perfume.
soon enough she wakes up. she smiles at me, before quickly asking
"how are you?"

"i'm okay, better. how are you?" i ask her

"i'm okay, a little stressed. "

"about the match?" i ask her, pushing some hair back behind her ear.

"yeah, well done sherlock" she mumbles, adjusting to the light of the bright room.

"alright feisty, watch it" i sneer, grinning cheekily at her.

"yeah? what will you do?" she asks, tilting her head slightly. fuckk.

i press a deep kiss to her lips. i gently kiss her more, grazing my tongue across her lip. she parts her lips, granting me entry. i move my body up, getting a better angle to kiss her as i slip my tongue into her mouth, running my tongue across the back of her teeth.
my hand slips down to her waist, my thumb into her waistband.
she kisses me gently, slowly.

until, i move my body off hers, pulling away.

"that" i reply, a smirk on my face, walking into the kitchen.

i grab a cup, filling it with ice, before walking over to the sink. i feel hands wrap around my waist.

"that's not very fair is it" she mumbles, whispering close to my ear. she gently peppers kisses on my neck, almost making me fold.
accidentally, the cup overflows, given i was very distracted. it runs over my fingers, and i quickly turn off the tap.
i turn around, taking a sip of my water, standing face to face with leah. i flick the water from my hand onto her, laughing at her as i do so.

"hey!" she squeals, hugging me. all of a sudden, her hands tickle at my sides. causing my body to unintentionally move.
"see how you like it" she mutters, a cheeky smile pulling at her lips.

"leah thats low, tickling me. come on" i say, putting my cup down and stepping closer to her. i push my hips against hers, gently moving her body against the counter. i take her face in my hands, joining our lips together...

we get onto the team bus, about to leave to go to wembly. this is one of the best days of my life and right now? i'm feeling no nerves.
although i can feel them slowly building up.
i know the expectations are all on me.
i'm the england stargirl.
i score all the goals.
i'm the top goalscorer for the whole tournament. breaking a record.
i've scored more that many of the people on this team, and i've only played in this tournament. quite impressive.

i sit next to leah, across from lucy keira and georgia. surprisingly, i've fit in well with this group, even though at the start they were the ones i hated the most. they're some of the oldest in the team, and i'm one of the younger ones, at 20 years old- i turned 20 a few days before this camp, you best believe i got absolutely hammered to celebrate. but anyways i didn't think i'd get along with them. but i do, and they're not boring like a thought.

i'm sat across from keira, and she's good fun. probably one of my best friends now. i would say so atleast.

"soo keira" i say, lowering my voice so the others can't hear.
"what's going on with you and bronzey over there?"

"nothing! nothings going on between us, now shut up or she'll hear!" she says angrily, even though she's smiling from ear to ear just at the mention of lucy.

"you suree?" i tease, whispering.

"what are you two whispering about?" lucy asks from the other side of georgia, making eye contact straight with keira. i watch as keira's cheeks turn pink.

"liarr" i whisper, once the heat is off us, my hand covering my mouth. she rolls her eyes, smiling. she can't even deny it.

me and keira end up tuning into the others conversation. i swivel my body, my legs laying over leah. leah shuffled over, so her lap is under my thighs. she lays her hands on my legs innocently, or seemingly innocently. i know she's just trying to wind me up.
i'll make sure to get my own back.
i lean my head on the back of my seat, where my head should be if i was sat normally. but that's not an option for me.
my eyelids feel heavy, and leah's soothing voice talking to the others is all i can here, and it's becoming harder to stay awake and tune into the conversation.
leah rubs her thumb back and forth on my thigh, and she takes my hand, interlocking our fingers together. she looks at me, staring into my eyes. i keep eye contact, although not without struggle.
she gives my hand a gently squeeze, giving me the signal that she wants me to go to sleep, wanting me to get my rest before the match, the match that could change our lives...