"I Just Gotta Get Out of L.A": a Jatt Mpregfic

31) Don't be afraid, afraid to fall

Josh

Matt slid his hand into mine and squeezed it as he stood beside where I sat in a chair. I feel him kiss my lips deeply and hold my neck even though my parents are in the room. 

I kiss him back but can tell there's something wrong.

We need to talk after the party because he's my fiance. I need to take care of him. He's been taking care of me and the baby for so long that I feel helpless most days.

"You okay, love?" I whisper in his ear and fix his shirt that's wrinkling up.

He nods his head and kisses me again for attention and affection.

"Guys, hello? Are we going to party or watch you guys make out in the venue?" Frankie wolf whistles as I watch Joe hit him on the shoulder gently.

"Sorry, guys. Can we have a moment alone?" I say looking at Matt who is 100% fake smiling at me.

I know when he's masking his feelings. I do it too because I'm a man and don't like to be emotional.

With this baby, I'm hormonal and always emotional and or crying.

But my fiance has been off lately and overworking, I'm concerned more than usual.

"We already gave you 7 seconds to be in heaven in front of us," Dara says while checking her lip gloss on her phone mirror.

I forgot that she flew out with Julia and Larry.

My mom invited everyone I know who is close to me.

"Come on, I need to go to the bathroom," I whisper in Matt's ear and act like I need help getting up even though I want to do it myself since he supports me so much.

I don't need to go to the bathroom though. I went 15 minutes ago when he was out by his car.

I take Matt's hand and let him put his hand behind my back to support my body weight as we walk to the men's restroom about 10 feet outside the doors.

Thankfully, my mom picked a place that has a convenient kitchen, bathroom, and changing room for comfy clothes.

"I can wait outside while you go." Matt says under the impression that the baby is pressing on my bladder but instead, I pull him inside the bathroom with 3 stalls and 2 urinals.

I swear to myself that this place is being rented out and empty then lock the bathroom door while squeezing his hand in the process of doing so.

"What's wrong? Are you in pain? Is the baby coming? Do you feel sick?" Matt helps me so that I can lean up against the sink for back posture reasons.

"There's nothing wrong with me. I want to know what's going on with you, Matt. You are my fiance and husband-to-be. You can tell me anything. I love you and you have supported me through this for almost 9 months. What can I do for you? Do you need to cry or need a hug? Matt, what's wrong? I know that you are hiding your feelings. I do it too." I hold my bump with one hand and squeeze him with the other.

He's been supporting me for so long even through my anxiety attacks. I need to do something for him.

"What do you mean? I'm fine and happy. Claire gave me a gift outside. Let's go party. It;s your special day. I heard it's Disney Prince themed because Frankie can't keep a secret when your sisters talk to him." Matt gets closer to almost hug my bump and kisses my forehead to try to distract me.

We made the baby together. I am not letting this day be all about my happiness and excitement for Leo.

"Matt, please say something. I know your parents are not here right now and are fighting. I overheard the phone call earlier. What can I do for you? Do you need someone to talk to? A therapist? Or a break from the party?" I look into his eyes and can tell that they are watering.