Meet me under the Willow Tree

Chapter 12: Maeve

"I loved you just long enough for it to destroy me when you left."     

 I don't know why I chose to help them pack up Cassie's stuff. Every shirt that I pick up brings back a memory of what we did when she wore it. The one in my hands is a soft blue color with a women's empowerment quote on it. We got matching ones in the spring of eighth grade because we wanted to go to a peaceful protest. In the end, we couldn't go because Cassie got a really bad cold, so instead we both wore the shirts while we watched IT. Let's just say I had nightmares for a week, but looking back I didn't really care because by the end of the night, Lucia and Mateo had joined us and we ate her mom's homemade popcorn, laughing and spilling it everywhere. Worth it. I fold up the shirt and set it in the donate pile, along with the next one, and the next. Soon there's nothing but a few stray pieces of lint and dust left in the drawer. I uncross my legs, looking around the room that held so many memories, reminiscing in them. 

      The garble from my stomach broke me from my reverie, and I internally groaned, I hadn't eaten since early this morning and it was now long past four in the afternoon. As I scanned the room, memories continued to flood my mind, making it harder and harder to focus on the task at hand. I knew I had to eat something before I could continue packing up Cassie's things, so I made my way downstairs to the kitchen. The smell of freshly baked cookies permeated the air, instantly reminding me of the countless times Cassie and I had tried baking and failed miserably. We had been more than best friends; we had been like sisters, two halves of a soul, complete together. I found Lucia in the kitchen, carefully arranging the cookies on a cooling rack. She looked up at me with a lukewarm smile that didn't sit right with me. 

"I thought you might need a break," she said, nodding towards the plate of cookies. 

"Cassie's favorite." I took a cookie, the familiar taste bringing both comfort and a pang of sadness. "Thank you," I said, savoring the taste. Lucia's eyes filled with understanding, and she wrapped an arm around my shoulder, I cringed. 

"I know, sweetheart. But remember, Cassie's always with us, in our memories and our hearts." Even as I stood there in the awkward position, I knew she was right. 

Though Cassie's physical presence was gone, her spirit would live on in the memories we shared, the laughter we experienced, and the moments we held close to our hearts. As I ducked out of Lucia's embrace, I couldn't help but feel an odd sense of unease. I knew her intentions were good, but something about the way she spoke about Cassie felt off. 

       I brushed the thought aside, attributing it to the stress of the situation. I bolted back to Cassie's room, skipping over every other stair and bursting into the familiar setting finding solace in the warm vanilla scent that hadn't left the room. Polaroids of Cassie and me adorned the walls right above the small desk that had a drawer full of all of the souvenirs we collected in our past adventures, reminding me of happier times. I reached for it, the handle silver and rusted, and tugged. I expected to see two rocks, both looking like halves of a heart. We had grabbed them from a small beach on the coast side. It had been way after dark and we had lost our way, both of our phones dead. We had nothing to do but wonder until we found our way home. What I had not expected to see was our pink sparkly notebook. Beside it, an envelope, Cassie's smooth writing splayed on the paper. With curiosity piqued, I opened it to find a handwritten letter from Cassie.

      Dear Maeve, I've made written another letter for you but you cant open it yet because it's not time. i know that your still sad heartbroken which is why you cant read it now, i don't want to hurt you more then i already have. you have been the best greatest friend i could ever ask for and im sorry that i didnt tell you what i was thinking. its not that i dont trust you (if anything your the one person i know i could trust) but i couldnt give you this berden burden of mine, it was already weighing me down and i couldnt do that to you. there is also a letter in here for mateo, pls give it to him, hug him and make sure hes ok, i also wrote letters for my parents but i don't really care if it gets to them or not.and pls don't read the next one i wrote for you. go somewhere in a year 20 years and read it then. pls, this is the last thing i ask of you, i love you, so much infinitely always and forever. and maeve? i wanna be a willow tree. love cassie<3

Even with the tears streaming down my face, I couldnt help but smile at all the grammar errors she had made. The heart next to her name was so familiar, and as I traced my fingers over the letter, I could feel the indents the pen made when she pushed too hard. My heart swelled with a bittersweet ache as I clutched the notebook, the weight of Cassie's words settling upon me. The letter for Mateo felt heavy in my other hand as I picked it up. I knew I had to respect Cassie's wishes and wait to read the other letter, but curiosity and longing gnawed at me. Taking a deep breath, I set the letters on the desk and carefully closed the drawer, my fingers lingering on the handle. I couldn't help but wonder what Cassie was trying to tell me. The questions swirled in my mind, a storm of confusion and longing. 

      Just as I turned to leave, a soft knock on the door frame caught my attention. Mateo's small frame stood in the doorway, his eyes questioning. 

"Hey," he said, his voice barely a whisper. I offered him a small smile, hoping it would convey the depth of my emotions. 

"Hey." His eyes swept over the familiar objects, lingering on the polaroids that captured our shared past. I nodded, my hand drifting to the drawer once more. 

"Cassie left a letter for you." Mateo's eyes widened, and he took a hesitant step forward. 

"For me?" I handed him the letter. As Mateo unfolded the letter, I couldn't help but wonder what Cassie had written to him. 

My heart twisted with a sudden longing to be the one to comfort him, so I got up and put my arms around him. I watched as he read, his eyes scanning the page with a mix of sorrow and tenderness. When he finished, Mateo carefully folded the letter, a lone tear tracing a path down his cheek. 

"Thank you," he whispered, his voice thick with emotion. I gave him a small nod, my own tears threatening to spill over. 

"We'll get through this," I said, my voice barely a whisper. Mateo looked at me, his eyes searching mine. 

"Really?" he asked, a glimmer of hope in his wide eyes. I took a deep breath, feeling the weight of Cassie's memory and the uncertainty of the future. But as I looked at Mateo, I knew that I needed to shelter him from the weight of what happened. 

"Yes," I confirmed, reaching out to take his hand. Though our journey was far from over, I knew that with Cassie's spirit guiding us, we would find a way to honor her memory and forge a path through the darkness.