Seeing Sparks

The Belligerence

It was hard to forget they were in Australia: the stifling heat compared to the winter cold they'd left behind; the near-nocturnal work cycle they had to adopt throughout the show; living in a hotel instead of returning home each day.

The day before the first live show, they'd been filming challenges all day, fitting in last-minute production meetings and social media promotion in between. Ant could see that Dec was still battling jetlag, better at adapting to it than the older man because his sleep had always been more disordered than Dec's. Although, maybe that wasn't as true since Stephen's accident; Dec's nightmares at times left him running on barely three hours of sleep.

When they got back to the hotel at the end of the day, Dec followed Ant to his room without them even talking about it, collapsing onto his bed with an exaggerated huff. Ant chuckled, taking the time to slip his shoes off at the door and then wandering over, bouncing the mattress deliberately as he sat down and ruffled Dec's hair.

"At least you'll be better suited to the nightshift when it starts," he teased. They hadn't talked about how late they'd flown out for this year's show. They'd left it as long as possible without giving the production team a headache, filling the few days they had in the country beforehand to sort everything they normally did in the space of a week.

"It's weird, starting so quickly," Dec addressed it now; quiet and casual but clearly talking about what they'd so far left unspoken. "Isn't it?"

"It's been a busy couple of days," Ant agreed. He also missed the sense of holiday that being in Australia sometimes gave them. They'd choose to arrive earlier or leave closer to Christmas just to give themselves some time off. But none of that was happening this year.

"It's only been three months," Dec murmured. Three months since Stephen's first seizure, is what he meant. It took Ant a long time to figure that out.

"Feels like a lifetime," he replied, stretching and then leaning back until he was lying down. He sensed Dec lifting his head up, imagining his neck craning to look over at him. Ant didn't look back, preferring his view of the bland ceiling stretching away above them.

"Or two," Dec added dryly before sobering again. "I've had to stop myself from texting him about ten times today."

"You're doing better than me," Ant replied sheepishly, "I've already probably bothered him too much."

Dec laughed faintly. "I don't know how he puts up with us."

"I think he's worked out he doesn't have a choice," Ant said amusedly. All too quickly he felt himself descend into that same brand of thoughtfulness as Dec. "D'you think they're going to change his meds while we're here?"

It was what he worried about the most when they set off. Stephen's tonic-clonic seizures had become disappointingly regular. It wasn't uncommon for him to have one a week and, while he was a little more open about admitting that to them now, he still hadn't progressed to the point of relying on them for help straight after. Strangely, that fact calmed Ant now that they were in Australia. If they couldn't help Stephen from the other side of the world, it was almost reassuring to know that he was at least used to helping himself.

One solution to Stephen's seizures was to change his medication. They'd tried increasing the dose slowly but this particular tablet didn't seem to be having the desired effect. But changing medication was a slow process, first reducing the dose of the current one and then introducing a new one. It was likely to wreak havoc with Stephen's routine, something that he would likely need support to handle no matter how much he pretended he didn't.

"I think they were sticking with it for another few weeks," Dec replied, sighing under his breath, "Seems pointless. It's not doing anything."

"Alright, Dr. Donnelly," Ant retorted fondly, feeling his mouth twitch when a hand whacked his side lightly. "I'd rather they did it when we were home anyway."