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-Sade
Fantasia
And this is is the last time I feel it This is the last time you take me down This is the last time you've seen it This is the last-
"Alright, take 10 y'all." Danielle called out to the band. She came up to where I was on the stage and stood next to me. She turned off the mic and turned me to face her. "Are you okay? You sound as awesome as ever, but it doesn't seem like you feel the music at all."
"I'll work on it." I responded flatly. Truth is, I haven't felt anything recently. There were too many emotions that night that have yet to get resolved. I'm usually not one to let any of my personal life work, but my work is art. Art is the most personal thing out there. I can't make a great song that tells a story if I can't figure out what happens in it.
"Have you talked to her?"
"No. I gave her a basket and I called her for a while, but she didn't want to see me. She told me to stop blaming myself for what happened, but I can't help but feel that whatever I did had the worst effect on her. I don't even know where we are right now. We said I love you, but maybe that was too quick."
"There's no time requirement on when you feel love for someone."
"I'm pretty sure she's leaving next week for Illinois. I have no idea how long she'll be gone and when she's coming back. I can't lose her like this, lord." As tears form in my eyes, I lift my head to the ceiling, forcing them to stay in. "You know what Colman told me? He told me that he thinks Taraji's spiraling will lead her somewhere I don't even want to think about."
"Why the hell would he say that?" Danielle was shocked at what I just said, mainly because they were words that came from Cole."
"I asked him to be completely honest about what he thought this might turn into. She's fighting too many demons at one time, and she may not have any idea of how to deal with them. All I wanted to do was be there for her in her absolute best and worst moments."
Before everything blew up. Raji has been on a high. Everything she did was with the biggest and brightest smile she could manage to get out. I can't bear to live with the thought that if something does happen to her to that extent, I wasn't there to save her. I don't want her to have to live a life feeling like there is nothing else there for her.
"Why don't we go ahead and finish the set. We'll figure this out. Taraji and I may not be the closest friends in the entire world, but she does mean a lot to me. You are a light in every single one of our lives, but she puts an extra light inside of you. Any woman that can make my best friend believe in herself again, is a woman that needs to be kept close."
"Thank you, Dani." I smile and go in for a tight hug.
"Now we can keep going if you're up for it, or we can go get something to eat and clear your mind."
