Wow....wow.
Is any of this even real?
Am I dreaming?
The heavy sound of my massive golden retriever taking a piss against a sign tells me I'm still here, not floating away on another dimension. Gross.
Louis is anxious. I'm trying not to dip into his thoughts too much, I want him to be able to come to me and talk openly. God, I just want him to trust me. The way he was scenting me, fuck I wanted to shove him down on the couch and...okay, take a breath, Harry. Neither of us are there. He literally just mated me back. My phone is buzzing in my pocket but I can't be bothered to look at it. I'm in such an all time high right now and it's making me uneasy. What the fuck just happened?
Ugh the dry cold is the worst. It hurts my nose. But at least the Christmas lights against the snow are pretty. And I wish my fucking dog would hurry up and stop frolicking in the fluffy snow piles. I have shit I need to figure out. I don't know what I'm going to do. Since Louis mated me as well, our bond is complete. Those are so hard to break. It's time consuming, painful, emotionally and physically. I just don't understand what's going through his head.
Otis is on his back, rolling around. I'm going to need to move. Maybe I can find a house somewhere with a yard only for my dog. Ha.
My body is in shock. This isn't what I expected. He...mated me? After everything that's happened. He isn't giving up on us. Him saying that makes my tummy warm. After all this time, I've practically given up on reconciliation. Now Louis wants to fight? Should we?
What about Bennie?
I gently tap on his bite, sending shivers down my body. Wow. Holy shit. And Lou feels this too?! How did he survive leaving after feeling this?
My knuckles are starting to redden and well, I can't hide from my mate forever. I need lotion for my hands. Lotion, uncomfortable talks, ugh, great. I wonder how Michelle is doing. I'll have to ask Tim if he's heard anything.
After practically having to drag Otis from the snowy banks, I find Louis still on the couch, his arms wrapped around his stomach. The stale stench of anxiety is pillowing around him. I sigh... despite whatever happens to us, I just want him to be okay.
Okay, now or never. I can feel his stare while I unhook Otis from his leash, dragging my coat off and slipping off my wet shoes at the door. I hate my feet being cold and wet. Oh well. The snow sticks to Otis' fur so it's my new reality.
I face my mate, swallowing back. We can't just not say anything. What the fuck do I even say to him? Hell I know he's anxious, but so am I. Why is this so hard? He's my best friend.
Louis stands up from the couch, but keeping his distance. He looks panicked. Fuck.
"I'm sorry, Harry. I'm so sorry. I just...I couldn't let-crap, Haz I'm sorry but I need you to understand how serious I am about this."
Serious? How serious he is?
"Louis, you just fucking mated me! You completed the cycle! Do you know how hard these are to remove?" I ask in disbelief. I'm not angry, but I'm so lost. This is a mess of emotions and I'm not sure how to stop drowning.
I watch as he fidgets, grabbing and twisting his fingers. Damn right he should be nervous! This is a big deal! I had just paid for his mark to be removed, but now he doesn't want that? After all this time?
"You were literally being sold! Those guys had guns and shit, babe! Of course I did the most radical thing I can think of to keep you safe! But this, Lou, this is different! I'm not in danger! You did it because, because, you don't approve of who I had sex with? Isn't that a little insane? That's an unconsented mark, Louis! I went to jail for mine! Of course I would never do that to you, but this shit isn't okay!"
